Archive for 2007

At the Very Least, We Can Play Beer Pong on It

15-year-old kid at stoop sale: Yo, I should totally buy this.
Friend #1: It’s a door. What are you going to do with a door?
15-year-old kid: Yeah, but it’s only 20 dollars.
Friend #2: You should definitely buy it.

–Carroll St, between 6th & 7th Ave, Park Slope

Overheard by: mervis

Nothing Like Faint Praise from the Unworthy

Outgoing misogynist: See, my friend gives you a nine, but that’s because he loves Puerto Rican women. I give you a seven-and-a-half. [Lady nods without looking up from her magazine.] So, what do you think?
Head-in-hands misogynist: I think you just embarrassed me.
Outgoing misogynist: I think you overshot with that nine, that’s what I think.

–4 train

Overheard by: Alex

Hey, Check Out My Scaly Solar Keratoses

Dude #1: Yeah, he tans all the time by the track. He uses, like, a quarter of a bottle of tanning oil.
Dude #2: Well, there’s a lot of skin cancer.
Chick: I think skin cancer is overrated. Not to be disrespectful, but is it even legitimate?

–Jamaica-bound Q30 bus

Overheard by: Liza