Archive for 2007

Hmmm, It Just Says, “Run Away Screaming”

Woman with headphones: ‘Scuuuse me!
Bimbette: What?! I said, ‘Excuse me.’
Woman with headphones: Well, I have on headphones and shades, so obviously I didn’t see or hear you. Ever thought about tapping me on the shoulder, asshole?
Bimbette, opening book called, How to Become Fearless: Well, whatever. I’m already sitting down.
Woman with headphones: That book must being doing something good for your ego. Hope it has a chapter in there on what to do after you get smacked on the train for being fearless…

–A train

According to My Life-Coach

Black guy: You know what I need to do? I need to eat yo’ pussy on the train. I got head three times on the train already.
Girlfriend: Shhh!
Black guy: That’s what I need to do. I need to eat yo’ pussy on the train.

–F train

Overheard by: Jofo

Hold My Ankles, Okay?

Girlfriend, drinking sake: This is the dumbest method of consuming alcohol I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen keg stands!
Boyfriend: I’ve done keg stands!
Girlfriend: I can’t believe I’m dating you.

–Blue Ribbon Sushi

Beauty and the Beatdown

Daughter: Belle looks so beautiful.
Dad: I think your mom is prettier.
Mom: Oh, thanks, honey.
Guy behind them: Someone wants to get laid tonight.

Beauty and the Beast showing

Overheard by: Amanda

And by ‘Interesting’ I Mean ‘I Want to Sleep With You’

Self-satisfied girl: I’m not sure how I feel about democracy. I mean, I enjoy the benefits, but it’s like they say, ‘Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the other ones.’
Dude: That’s great! Who said that?
Self-satisfied girl: That guy de Tocqueville. You know, that little prince guy that came over here for a while. He taught us so much about ourselves.
Dude: That is so interesting.

–Court & Dean

Overheard by: lish

I Use a Gun Now

Man: Come on, baby, come back to my place!
Woman: Nah, the last time I went over to your place you stabbed me!
Man: Baby, that was four years ago!

–F train, Roosevelt Island

Overheard by: Milo