Archive for 2007

Like Tell It about My Wife and Kids

Boyfriend, looking at body pillow: Aw, man! I should totally get this!
Girlfriend: Why would you get that? We’re moving in together in like a year. We’ll be sharing a bed with each other.
Boyfriend: Yeah, but I can do things to this pillow that I can’t do to you!

–Target, Queens Center Mall

Do You Like Mayonnaise?

Black man: Do you listen to Linkin Park?
Confused LI whitey #1: Ummm, no.
Confused LI whitey #2: He only asked you that ’cause your white.

–Virgin Megastore

Overheard by: Frank T

More Like Fisting Them, Really

Latina: You like to dance?
Preppy guy: Yeah.
Latina: The girls here are really easy. I can introduce you to some that will let you touch their pussies.
Preppy guy: Ummm. I’m engaged.
Latina: That’s okay. My husband’s over there dancing with them right now.

–Eldridge St

Overheard by: David