Archive for 2007

Like Tell It about My Wife and Kids

Boyfriend, looking at body pillow: Aw, man! I should totally get this!
Girlfriend: Why would you get that? We’re moving in together in like a year. We’ll be sharing a bed with each other.
Boyfriend: Yeah, but I can do things to this pillow that I can’t do to you!

–Target, Queens Center Mall

Do You Like Mayonnaise?

Black man: Do you listen to Linkin Park?
Confused LI whitey #1: Ummm, no.
Confused LI whitey #2: He only asked you that ’cause your white.

–Virgin Megastore

Overheard by: Frank T

Huh. Still Smells Like Oysters.

Girl #1: So, now I’m going to need a new roommate, I think.
Girl #2: Wait… Let me get this straight — you walk in, she’s on the bed, nude, rolling around on a bunch of pearls?
Girl #1: Yeah. Our jewelry had just arrived from ShangBy, and I guess she got excited… Want a pearl necklace?

–58th & 5th