Archive for 2007

… So I Maced Him.

College girl: Whenever I tell anyone that I was there when you dislocated your shoulder they ask if it’s my fault ’cause we were having sex.
20-ish guy: Hahaha! Yeah, me, too. I had one guy ask me, ‘Did it happen while you were [pelvic thrusts] uh, uh, uh?’
College girl, excitedly: That’s exactly what my dad said!

–Riverside Park

Overheard by: Vicksburg

You Think They’re Your Friends? That’s So Cute.

Jogger girl #1: We should go out tonight to this cool new bar I heard of.
Jogger girl #2: Okay, where is it?
Jogger girl #1: Somewhere in the Fla-teer-on District.
Jogger girl #2: … You mean the Flatiron District?
Jogger girl #1: Oh my god, I’m such an idiot. I’ve been telling all my friends at work about it — why haven’t they corrected me?

–88th & York

Overheard by: Moderately amused

I Want to Be Loved for Who I Pretend to Be

Chick: One of my compatible matches looked like he must have been captain of his Dungeons and Dragons club back in school, and he said that he recently cut off his hair and donated it to Locks of Love, which is a nice thing to do, but then I had to imagine what he would look like with this horrible ponytail…
Guy: Like a music major ponytail, or, no– an AV Squad?
Chick: Yeah, exactly. So, needless to say, I deleted that match.
Dude with long hair, beret, beard, trench coat, and glasses standing nearby: I’m going home and changing my MySpace page right now.

–4 train

Overheard by: megwal