Archive for 2007

A Lot of What, Now?

Girl: I’m going to be speaking Spanish for a month, and I’m going to come back and be so good at it, but then I’ll have a month before classes start and I’ll forget all of it!
Boy: That’s because you smoke a lot of weed.

–6 train

Overheard by: Veronica

Congratulations! You’ve Just Become Obsolete.

Chick: Are you coming right home after work? I need sex so badly.
Guy: Yeah, I can tell… Why don’t you use your Valentine’s Day gift?
Chick: The Rabbit? It’s not the same.
Guy: Why isn’t it the same?
Chick: Well, it doesn’t talk.
Guy: Wait — so if it talked, you wouldn’t need me at all? Is that what you’re saying?
Chick: Um… No?

–Carnegie John’s, 56th & 7th

Overheard by: cheech

And We Haven’t Seen Even One Hand-Turkey

Student #1: So, are you taking any other art history courses?
Student #2: Yeah, that’s my major — I’m taking a million.
Student #1: This class is so hard.
Student #2: It’s okay, I guess…
Student #1: Is it just me, or did you think this class was going to be about pilgrims?
Student #2: Well, it is… I don’t know. Didn’t you read the course description?
Student #1: Yeah, but I thought it was going to be about the kind that eat turkeys and pumpkins…

–The Met

Isn’t That Why We Have Two Kids?

Six-year-old girl, grabbing a Bud Light: Daddy, can I get this?
Four-year-old sister: Yeah, can I have one too, Daddy?
Dad: Not right now, but if you two are good, I’ll get you a keg later.
Mom: I’d be down for that.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jas

And What, Exactly, Is She Remembering?

Lawyer #1: My wife bought the official Sopranos book.
Lawyer #2: Is it good?
Lawyer #1: Yeah, it has a lot of inside stuff about the cast and how the show was put together.
Lawyer #2: I’m gonna miss that show.
Lawyer #1: I read something really strange in that book though.
Lawyer #2: What?
Lawyer #1: You know Drea de Matteo, the chick who played Adriana?
Lawyer #2: Chris’s girlfriend, right?
Lawyer #1: Yeah. The book says that in real life she has the balls of one of her dogs in a glass jar full of preservative. She keeps it on display in her house.
Lawyer #2: What for?
Lawyer #1: How the fuck should I know? She says it’s to remember him by. What’s the matter, she couldn’t take a picture?

–Supreme Court, Kings County

Overheard by: Big Larry