Archive for 2007

Uh-Oh

Rabbi: So, what was the best part of your week?
College Jew: Hmmm… I guess reading for three hours in the library.
Rabbi: Oh? What did you read about?
College Jew: Hitler.

–NYU Hillel

Overheard by: YJD

Another Case of the Terrorist Twos

Little boy in stroller playing with toy car: Bomb! It’s a bomb!
Mom, wagging finger: It’s not a bomb, sweetie. Don’t say that.
Little boy: It’s a bomb! Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb!
Mom: Stop that!
Little boy: We have a bomb! Play with the bomb! Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb!

–Manhattan-bound 3 train

Overheard by: Jesus Jon

My Second Involved a Stripper and the Emergency Room

Professor: In this court case the Kitty Kat Lounge challenged a state law demanding that dancers wear pasties and a G-string while dancing.
Queer: What is a pasty exactly?
Professor: Who here has experience with pasties?
Frat boy: They are minuscule little stickers that cover the areolae.
Professor, laughing awkwardly: I’ve encountered these before. My girlfriend, when she doesn’t want to wear a bra or whatever but doesn’t want her nipples to show, has worn these… And this was my first encounter with pasties.

–Silver Building, NYU

Etiquette: A NYC Short Story

Mid-20s guy: He was like, ‘The market’s been up and down,’ so I was like, ‘Yeah, I’ve been up and down on your mom.’
Mid-20s girl: Oh, that’s real classy of you.
Mid-20s guy: What? You call people ‘faggots’ all the time!
Mid-20s girl: Yeah, but I don’t call their moms faggots!

–Q train

Overheard by: KingM and ALP