Archive for 2007

My Second Involved a Stripper and the Emergency Room

Professor: In this court case the Kitty Kat Lounge challenged a state law demanding that dancers wear pasties and a G-string while dancing.
Queer: What is a pasty exactly?
Professor: Who here has experience with pasties?
Frat boy: They are minuscule little stickers that cover the areolae.
Professor, laughing awkwardly: I’ve encountered these before. My girlfriend, when she doesn’t want to wear a bra or whatever but doesn’t want her nipples to show, has worn these… And this was my first encounter with pasties.

–Silver Building, NYU

Etiquette: A NYC Short Story

Mid-20s guy: He was like, ‘The market’s been up and down,’ so I was like, ‘Yeah, I’ve been up and down on your mom.’
Mid-20s girl: Oh, that’s real classy of you.
Mid-20s guy: What? You call people ‘faggots’ all the time!
Mid-20s girl: Yeah, but I don’t call their moms faggots!

–Q train

Overheard by: KingM and ALP

You Can’t Say “Don’t Let the Cum Fester” to Just Anybody

NYU boy: The doctor at NYU was so chill about it — he treated me the first time three years ago. He’s the one who told me how you have to spit or swallow, but don’t let the cum fester in your mouth. And that one shouldn’t brush their teeth an hour before or after oral, ’cause it opens up the gums and stuff.
NYU girl: [Blank stare.]
NYU boy: Gay sex is, like, his specialty.
NYU girl, after long pause: I don’t think we should be friends anymore.

–W 4th St

Overheard by: wish I had a specialty