Archive for 2007

Can’t Wait to Hear the Too-Personal Part

Chubby girl: I don’t do well with fingers in my ass, but I’m pretty good with balls in my mouth. I’ll tell you a story, but if it gets too personal just tell me to stop.
Nerdy boy: Alright.
Chubby girl: I was at Jason’s house, and, mind you, we were in an awkward position — kind of half-sitting, half-laying down — but it’s always awkward when you’re half asleep, you know? Well, we started kissing, and then my negligee fell down. It literally fell down below my breasts. And Jason was like, ‘I don’t know if I’m comfortable with your toplessness…’

–6 train

Why Not? He Wears Girl Keds and He’s Partially Hydrogenated

Boy: I was trying to tackle him, I just couldn’t get my– I just couldn’t get my hands around him. I just couldn’t squeeze his legs together… just couldn’t… I just couldn’t get my hands around. Oh! And there’s this kid, and we call him ‘Transfatty‘ because you don’t know whether he’s a boy or a girl, and he’s like, a fat kid and that’s why we made up this nickname for him — Transfatty!
Soccer dad: You don’t really call him that, do you?

–Elevator, 92nd & 3rd