Archive for 2007

That Costs Extra

Girl: Yeah, the room in the apartment is only four hundred bucks a month.
Guy: No way! No place in the city is only four hundred a month. You probably have to shit in the bathtub.

–Bainbridge & Malcolm X, Brooklyn

What a Drip

Fat guy: So, you think she’s going to dump you?
Skinny guy: Yeah, she doesn’t seem to like the gonorrhea. It just keeps coming back!
Fat guy: Well, that’s the thing with gonorrhea.

–Walgreens, 18th & 1st

Overheard by: Trying Not To Laugh

Thanks. My Feet Feel Better Now.

20-ish female tourist: My feet are killing me. I shouldn’t have worn heels.
20-ish boyfriend: Heels aren’t that bad. I wore them and a dress for a play in eighth grade.
20-ish female tourist: My dad loves dressing up as a woman.

–C train, Port Authority

Tits Have Points

Dude #1: Yo, check it out: this chick in the lecture I was just in — huge tits, bro.
Dude #2: Yeah?
Dude #1: Yeah. Fucking bombs.
Dude #2: That’s it? That’s the story? I mean, I like tits, but there’s gotta be a point to a story, man.
Dude #1, after long pause: … Fag.

–Kimmel Center, NYU

Overheard by: that guy

And I Haven’t Told My Parents about Us Yet

Guy #1: Dude, I was rockin’ pink American Apparel briefs and brown pants and pink and brown-striped socks when I hung out with her! Chicks dig that attention to detail, man.
Guy #2: Keep it down, man! You sound like a fucking faggot.

–Whole Foods, 14th St

Overheard by: lil pirate