Archive for 2007

That’s How Easy Love Can Be

Guy: I was bored the other day, so I sang the alphabet song while counting on my fingers to make sure there really are 26 letters… There are.
Girl: Dude, you know what you get for that? [Hugs guy.]

–E train

Overheard by: Peter G

And Feet

Hobo falls asleep on hipster girl and breathes in her face — she gags.

Hipster friend: What’s wrong?
Hipster girl: I just saw hell, and it smells like Taco Bell.

–4 train

Overheard by: I could smell it too

Why Is It Saying, ‘That Was Easy’?

Security guard #1 rushing in: Where is the panic button?
Sales girl: I don’t even know what that is.
Security guard #1: It’s not under the counter? You don’t have a panic button? How can you not have a panic button?
Security guard #2: I think this is it. Here, on the wall behind you.
Security guard #1: Okay, okay. Okay, let’s press it and see if it works.

–Pierpont Morgan Museum Gift Shop

Overheard by: not-panicking

The Nuclear Option

Riders scurry away as crazy woman yells at them and pokes them with her cane for sitting on one of her seats. Young woman boards train and sits.

Crazy woman: Wooo! Go! Go! Go! Wooo!
Young woman: Hey, you have three seats, and I’m just sitting on the edge of this one so you can have half. I am not getting up.
Crazy woman: Wooo!
Young woman: See all those people standing? It’s not fair for you to have four seats. [Crazy woman pulls down pants and starts peeing. Young woman gets up] Okay, you win.

–Manhattan-bound D train, Brooklyn