Archive for 2007

Unless They Come with Little Hookahs

Thug #1, flailing as piece of straw wrapper lands on him from above: What the fuck was that shit?!
Thug #2: Shit! That fucking looked like a catapilla, man!
Thug #1, shouting at balcony above: Don’t you fucking throw yo’ catapillas at me! Damn! –40th & 7th Overheard by: Vicksburg

Funny, I Thought It Was Kiss-Off Time

Girl #1: I see them. They’re waiting for us. Do you think they can see us?
Girl #2: Oh, no, he’s calling me! What do I do? I’m not answering. Let’s just wait for them to leave.
Girl #3: Didn’t he say there was going to be a group of them? There’s only three.
Girl #2: I know! And his friend isn’t even there. He said he was coming. He said he was going to give my number to his friend, too. He totally scumbagged him! We’re not going over there.
Girl #1: At least we are warm.
Girl #2: They’re wearing khakis. This guy is so sneaky.
Girl #3: They’re coming this way!
Girl #1: They’re coming in!
Girl #2: Oh, shit! What do I do?! This guy is such a loser. I know it’s mean, but what he’s doing is f’ed up. His friend was standing there when I gave my number. He was really cute and funny. [Ducks as guys enter.]
Girl #1, whispering: They’re headed over here.
Girl #2: Hey! How are you? We were just on our way over!
Creepy guy: Hey, thought you weren’t coming. It’s hug time! Get over here! –Starbucks, Astor Pl Overheard by: L.C.

Ow — Fuck!

Dude: You’re such a slut!
Chick: How does leaving town make me a slut?
Dude: Uh, I was talking about your door-to-door nut-slapping service. –Stuyvesant Town Overheard by: Danielle is hot!