Archive for 2007

Are You Sure

Child: Tia Jeanette, did you know that the tourist-ists brought down the twin towers?
Tia Jeanette: No, no, no, Anthony, it was the terror-ist.
Child: Ohhh… –Ground Zero

Thanks, Dad.

45-year-old man: … And since I’m on my way to a business meeting, this drink I just bought you is tax deductible.
College girl: Well, that’s nice, I guess.
45-year-old man: Yeah, you’ve got a big butt and you’re tax deductible. That’s how I like them. –Coffee Shop Bar, 14th St Headline by: Snark Sloper Runners-Up:
· “Accountant Pickup Line #65337-2366-26637-1” – Works For Me
· “Baby Got Back. — Cf, Form 1040 Schedule C Line 27” – chris
· “Monica Lewinsky: This Sounds Familiar…” – D. Kareem
· “Until She Capital Gains All That Weight” – Vasyl
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners Take the Dirt-Road Detour

Teacher: No butt-fuck guys, no butt-fuck. –Hunter College High Overheard by: citysnidget Hot chick: … And so I was thinking, You’re thinking about my brother while you’re fucking my ass? No response necessary. –32nd & Broadway Cuban guy to Russian girl: All Russian girls I’ve ever met love anal sex. No, seriously, they are all into that shit — and pomegranate. –1st Ave Overheard by: Asmar Jock: … And he was sodomizing a jaguar. –81st & Amsterdam Overheard by: impossible

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Part of Your Complete Breakfast

Exhausted executive: Woman, I am telling you — it is Friday, and what I’m saying to you is, all I need is some alcohol and some stuffed mushrooms. Do you hear me? –Grand Central Old lady, screaming: It’s not the quiche, Harry, it’s the whole seven years! –Lincoln Center Overheard by: Rowanhood Creepster: I’d like to spread Jessica Fletcher and Rose Nylund on a cracker and down ’em with a shot of Ensure! –81st & Madison Man: I don’t trust upstate food anymore. –Cab line, JFK Overheard by: Sean McGurr Budding entrepreneur: You mean, I can copyright the sandwiches I make? Put them in an envelope and mail them to myself? –Stanton & Attorney