Archive for 2007

Yeah, I Miss Abusing Her

Man #1: It seems my first wife put my name down on a job application as a reference.
Man #2: Oh, yeah? How do you know?
Man #1: Somebody called me yesterday and asked, ‘Can you tell us something about her?’
Man #2: What did you say?
Man #1: I said, ‘She can’t cook and she’s lousy in bed! As long as the job don’t require that, I guess she’d be good.’
Man #2: What an idiot! –LIRR Overheard by: Allison

So, of Course, I Had to Make It Go Away

JAP #1: So, I’m outside smoking a cig, right? And there’s this guy, like, smoking right across the street. O-M-G… He walks across the street, and, like, stands right in front of me and stares!
JAP #2: Was he cute?!
JAP #1: Ewww! His hard-on was sooo gross! –Whole Foods, 24th & 6th