Archive for 2007

“My Coke Dealer Says” Wouldn’t Have Had the Same Ring

Loud lady: Would you like a tissue? [Guy on phone snivels loudly, shakes head. Lady waves tissue at him.] Excuse me, here’s a tissue.
Guy, covering phone: No, thanks.
Loud lady: Please take the tissue. I hate that noise you’re making. It’s disgusting.
Guy, into phone: Nobody. I’m waiting for the train to move and some woman wants me to blow my nose.
Loud lady: It’s making me sick to look at you. You should be ashamed of yourself. Take the tissue!
Guy, to loud lady: My mom says you’re a rude bitch who should shut the fuck up and go to the next car if you don’t like it! [Lady storms off.]

–N train, Ditmars station, Astoria

Overheard by: A Mother Says What?

At Least, That’s My Master’s Thesis

Preppy girl #1: What’s the difference between men’s shaving cream and women’s shaving cream?
Preppy girl #2: Um… I think it’s a different chemical reaction or something.

–CVS, Willets Pt & Francis Lewis Blvd, Queens

Overheard by: Jackie R.