Archive for 2007

Smart Stays with You, Sweetie

Mother: You’re so pretty.
Four-year-old daughter, stomping: Don’t call me pretty! I need to be smart and pretty!
Mother: Okay, you’re smart.
Four-year-old daughter, crying: Nooo! Mom! Don’t just say ‘smart.’ Say ‘smart and pretty.’ It needs to be both! I can’t just be smart! Smart and pretty, together!

–Park Ave South

Overheard by: Lauren Joyce

Got Any Sack-Hygiene Tips?

Frat boy #1: So, this chick loves to suck my balls.
Frat boy #2: Dude, you told us that, like, seven times.
Frat boy #3: Yeah, I’m beginning to think you’re lying.
Frat boy #1: But now I gotta really lather up down there.

–Pool bar

Overheard by: Scotched

I Need to Go Bathe in Urine Now

Bus driver on intercom as it starts to rain: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey… C’mon, everybody!
Entire bus, singing: You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you — please don’t take my sunshine away.
Chick: I think that was the least-New York moment of my entire life.

–M79 bus