Archive for 2007

Just Slowly Back Away from the Terrifying Foreign Person

Barista: Sir, you can pay for the juice over there.
Middle-aged Brit: But I bought it.
Barista: No you didn’t.
Middle-aged Brit: Yes, I did — at another place.
Barista: Yeah, oookay [rolls eyes].
Middle-aged Brit: I really did.
Barista: Yeah, oookay.
Middle-aged Brit: What the fuck is your problem?
Barista: Well, you just stole juice, and you’re being an ass, so you can leave now.
Middle-aged Brit: Excuse–
Old lady Brit: –Alexander, just stop talking! He could shoot you!

–Starbucks, Fashion District

Overheard by: only in new york

But He Was Too Busy Watching The Notebook to Listen to Me

Young hipster: Remember that guy you used to work with — Carl?
Young suit: Yeah, I always hated that guy.
Young hipster: I saw him the other night, and he was telling me he was going to get ‘Hopeless romantic’ tattooed on his knuckles. I was like, ‘Dude, you cheated on your girlfriend and you have a pending rape case — maybe you shouldn’t get that tattoo.’

–N train

I Bought Last Time!

Girl: Don’t you feel bad?
Guy: About what?
Girl: For one, you’re in your girlfriend’s jeans, her jacket, her flats, and her fucking pearls. And second…
Guy: And second what?
Girl: You got fucked by three different guys in the two days she’s been out of town.
Guy: If I suck so much, why the fuck are we friends?
Girl: ‘Cause when she is out of town, I have my own little gay Barbie doll and fashion expert all in one. And it’s your turn to buy the manicures.

–72nd & 1st

Overheard by: Julie