Archive for 2007

But He Was Too Busy Watching The Notebook to Listen to Me

Young hipster: Remember that guy you used to work with — Carl?
Young suit: Yeah, I always hated that guy.
Young hipster: I saw him the other night, and he was telling me he was going to get ‘Hopeless romantic’ tattooed on his knuckles. I was like, ‘Dude, you cheated on your girlfriend and you have a pending rape case — maybe you shouldn’t get that tattoo.’

–N train

I Bought Last Time!

Girl: Don’t you feel bad?
Guy: About what?
Girl: For one, you’re in your girlfriend’s jeans, her jacket, her flats, and her fucking pearls. And second…
Guy: And second what?
Girl: You got fucked by three different guys in the two days she’s been out of town.
Guy: If I suck so much, why the fuck are we friends?
Girl: ‘Cause when she is out of town, I have my own little gay Barbie doll and fashion expert all in one. And it’s your turn to buy the manicures.

–72nd & 1st

Overheard by: Julie

What Do You Put on Your Ritz?

Teen girl #1: I broke up with him because of his smegma. It was out of control.
Teen girl #2: What the fuck?
Teen girl #1: He had severe dick cheese.
Teen girl #2, loudly: Wait — so he had cheese growing on his dick?! Ewww!
Man next to them, laughing: Where are the crackers when you need ‘em, eh?

–Roosevelt Ave station

… For Money

Girl: Are you saying I’m a whore?
Guy: No, no, I’m just saying… [whispers].
Girl: You’re saying I’m a whore!
Guy: No, I’m saying… [whispers].
Girl: I’m a girl who likes to watch porn and what? [Guy whispers.] I like to watch porn and what?
Guy, softly: … Likes to watch porn and have sex.

–Menchanko restaurant, 45th & Lex

Overheard by: emily