Archive for 2007

I Smell Romantic Comedy Gold!

Nurse #1: Fuck, I hate Mr. Williams. That fucker won’t shut the hell up. Every time he’s here he wants me to be his nurse.
Nurse #2, laughing: Mr. Williams likes you.
Nurse #3: I don’t know why you’re laughing, Mary. At least she doesn’t have an 80-year-old dyke putting the moves on her.

–South Ward, Albert Einstein Hospital

He Forgot to Pull Up His Tights

Drunk male ballet dancer: Can I have your attention, please? I’m not asking for money — I just want to let you all know that I need to pee and I’m going to step between the cars for a moment. I’ll be right back, don’t worry. [He steps out of the car onto the walkway for a few seconds, then comes back in. Whole car applauds.]

–1 train