Archive for 2007

Do You Like Mayonnaise?

Black man: Do you listen to Linkin Park?
Confused LI whitey #1: Ummm, no.
Confused LI whitey #2: He only asked you that ’cause your white.

–Virgin Megastore

Overheard by: Frank T

Huh. Still Smells Like Oysters.

Girl #1: So, now I’m going to need a new roommate, I think.
Girl #2: Wait… Let me get this straight — you walk in, she’s on the bed, nude, rolling around on a bunch of pearls?
Girl #1: Yeah. Our jewelry had just arrived from ShangBy, and I guess she got excited… Want a pearl necklace?

–58th & 5th

More Like Fisting Them, Really

Latina: You like to dance?
Preppy guy: Yeah.
Latina: The girls here are really easy. I can introduce you to some that will let you touch their pussies.
Preppy guy: Ummm. I’m engaged.
Latina: That’s okay. My husband’s over there dancing with them right now.

–Eldridge St

Overheard by: David

Unless They Come with Little Hookahs

Thug #1, flailing as piece of straw wrapper lands on him from above: What the fuck was that shit?!
Thug #2: Shit! That fucking looked like a catapilla, man!
Thug #1, shouting at balcony above: Don’t you fucking throw yo’ catapillas at me! Damn!

–40th & 7th

Overheard by: Vicksburg