Archive for 2007

If James Dean Were Still Alive Today

Man: Do you wanna ride in the sidecar of my motorbike? My son does that all the time. We go really fast!
Teen girl: Yeah, sure, I’d love to go in your pre-war sidecar. With a bit of luck, all my friends will see me with some crazy bald man and that will be the end of my life. No, thanks!

–The Village

How Language Evolves

Eight-year-old girl: Why you gotta be yap-yap-yapping all the time on your phone?
15-year-old sister: Shut up! You crazy!
Eight-year-old: Oh, yeah? You a como!
15-year-old sister: What the hell is a ‘como’? That’s not even a word!
Eight-year-old: Yes it is! ‘Co-‘ like ‘cold,’ and ‘mo-‘ like ‘mole,’ on your face!
15-year-old sister: Crazy…
Eight-year-old: You a como. I ain’t crazy [gives sister the finger].

–Bx15 bus

Sherry: Did Ratatouille Mean Nothing to You?

Guy #1: It may take a few tries, but it works — you can flush them down the toilet.
Guy #2: I didn’t think you could flush something, y’know — solid. Don’t they jam up the toilet?
Guy #1: Nope. I guess they’re not big enough, or maybe I’ve been lucky, but I’ve never had a problem.
Guy #2: If you’re going to kill them anyway, I don’t see why you have those live traps.
Guy #1: Sherry won’t let me get regular traps, so I don’t tell her I’m flushing the mice, and everything’s cool. I just tell her I’m setting them loose outside.

–6 train, 23rd & Park