Archive for 2007

To Make You Grateful to Be Childless

Man: Excuse me, but that kid’s screaming is ruining my museum experience.
Dad pushing stroller with shrieker inside: Listen, pal, she’s two years old–
Man: –So why did you bring her?!

–Ancient Near East Galleries, the Met

I Knew I Should Have Learned to Read!

Lady with disposable camera prominently featuring ‘Flash’ label: Does this camera have a flash?
Employee, to cashier: Does this have a flash?
Cashier, not looking: Yes.
Employee: This has a flash.
Lady: Are you sure? [To her mother] I hope this has a flash.

–CVS, Kings Hwy & Nostrand Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: The Yankee

As Good a Jew As You Are a Baptist, Sweetie

Ghetto black lesbian: Look, you are Time Magazine’s Person of the Year.
Jewish lesbian: That is so lame.
Ghetto black lesbian, picking up a card instead: What does ‘shalom’ mean? Does anybody know what ‘shalom’ means?
Jewish lesbian: You are asking the wrong Jew.
Ghetto black lesbian: What kind of Jew are you? What good are you?

–Duane Reade, Broadway & Reade

Overheard by: Just trying to buy some cards