Archive for 2007

Wait, Back Up. Why Can’t You Go Anymore?

Female employee #1: You need to go to church.
Female employee #2: Hell no, I can’t go to church anymore [laughs mischievously].
Female employee #1: You don’t go to church?
Female employee #2: Uh-uh.
Female employee #1: Whatever! Yo, at my church, like, gangs and shit be comin’ on Sundays. The Crips are all on one side and the Bloods all on the other. It’s crazy. They be wearin’ their colors and shit, too.

–Century 21

What Is It with That Movie?

Bimbette: Oh my god, I’m so horny.
Friend: Did you just see Josh or something?
Bimbette: No, I just watched Newsies!
Friend: Without me?
Bimbette: It was sort of a one-on-one Newsies experience.
Friend: I totally understand… Dancing preteen boys…


Overheard by: Kelly

To Make You Grateful to Be Childless

Man: Excuse me, but that kid’s screaming is ruining my museum experience.
Dad pushing stroller with shrieker inside: Listen, pal, she’s two years old–
Man: –So why did you bring her?!

–Ancient Near East Galleries, the Met

I Knew I Should Have Learned to Read!

Lady with disposable camera prominently featuring ‘Flash’ label: Does this camera have a flash?
Employee, to cashier: Does this have a flash?
Cashier, not looking: Yes.
Employee: This has a flash.
Lady: Are you sure? [To her mother] I hope this has a flash.

–CVS, Kings Hwy & Nostrand Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: The Yankee