Archive for 2007

God, Are You High-Maintenance, or What?

Drunk chick #1, as train approaches: Oh, no, here it comes! Quick, put on your sober face! [Drunk chick #2 stands up straight, takes a deep breath, and vomits all over the platform.] It’s okay, you look fine. Just don’t fall asleep on the train again.

–1 train

Is a Beak a Nose?

Hipster, looking at menu: Chicken fingers?
Corporate fashionista: Great! Even though I’m a vegetarian.
Hipster: Then why did you say ‘great’?
Corporate fashionista: I’ll eat some.
Hipster: … Then how are you a vegetarian?
Corporate fashionista: I just try not to eat anything with a face.

–Sidewalk Cafe, 6th & Ave A