Archive for 2007

Stop Singing and Lick Me

Chubby chick #1: Oh my god, you know who I look like and who I sound like? I saw like this really, really old CD of Barbara Cook, and she’s so much fatter than me, but we sing exactly alike! [Sings.]
Chubby chick #2: I don’t really think I look like anybody. That’s not true — I look like a Gummi Bear.

–Starbucks, 52nd & Lex

I Took Him Shopping

Queer #1: I had a dream last night that I had cancer, but Ty Pennington showed up and built me a house!
Queer #2: The real question is, did you also have sex with him in the dream?
Queer #1: Come on, that would have been tacky!

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: Kyle

The Subway Is Something Else Entirely

Bus driver, swinging door open: If you ain’t good-lookin’, y’all ain’t gettin’ on my bus! [Girls outside stare.] I said, if you ain’t good-lookin’, you ain’t gettin’ on board!
Girl, slowly taking step: Well… I’m getting on this bus…
Bus driver: That’s right! That’s right! ‘Cause you good-lookin’! Get your ass in here!

–Fort Tryon Park

Overheard by: specialK