Archive for 2007

Stop Singing and Lick Me

Chubby chick #1: Oh my god, you know who I look like and who I sound like? I saw like this really, really old CD of Barbara Cook, and she’s so much fatter than me, but we sing exactly alike! [Sings.]
Chubby chick #2: I don’t really think I look like anybody. That’s not true — I look like a Gummi Bear.

–Starbucks, 52nd & Lex

I Took Him Shopping

Queer #1: I had a dream last night that I had cancer, but Ty Pennington showed up and built me a house!
Queer #2: The real question is, did you also have sex with him in the dream?
Queer #1: Come on, that would have been tacky!

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: Kyle