Archive for 2007

Take Me, My Mighty Silverback!

Jerk in back row: Paul McCartney should have stopped after the Beatles. I mean, what the fuck else good did he do after that? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. He couldn’t go from point A to point B. What’s the shortest distance from A to B, again? Like, the hypotenuse of a triangle? He never found the hypotenuse without Lennon.
Annoyed man in front of him: Dude, the hypotenuse is the longest side. Now shut the fuck up.
Annoyed man’s girlfriend: That was so hot.

–Carnegie Hall

Can We Go See the Daily Planet Building?

Tourist mom: Ohhh! Look, dear! A fire escape!
Tourist child: Oh, where? Where?
Tourist mom: See? That balcony with the ladders…
Tourist child: But how do they get down?
Tourist mom: I think that ladder on the side slides down.
Tourist child: Oh, wow. It is just like in the movies!

–Ferry bus, 49th & 6th

Overheard by: A tourist who knows better

Got a Cigarette?

Hipster #1: We’re all going to get tumors from cell phones. The speakers emit microwaves.
Hipster #2: That’s why I always switch which side I talk on. I want to spread it out.

–Coney Island-bound F train

Overheard by: Cait O’Connor