Archive for 2007

Thanks for Giving Me an Escape Route

Guy yuppie: So, one of the interesting things about that movie is, remember I read that book by Neil Strauss all about how he picked up women? Well, a lot of the things the main character in that movie did are the things that Strauss advocates.
Girl yuppie: Okay, give me an example.
Guy yuppie: Well, you know how in one of their first meetings he proposed to her? That’s one of the things he suggests.
Girl yuppie: Is that why on our second date you proposed to me?
Guy yuppie: Uh, you know I only read that book after we started dating… So I did that on my own…
Girl yuppie: And doesn’t he just show you how to get a girl to have sex with you, not to have a relationship, and you weren’t looking just for sex, but a relationship, so what he wrote wouldn’t have applied to you, right?
Guy yuppie: Yeah, exactly.

–Outside a showing of The Science of Sleep, BAM

A Rat Might Crawl into Them!

Girl: This has got to be the hottest station in New York.
Guy: It’s good for you. It’s like a sauna — it will open your pores.
Girl: I don’t want my pores open down here!

–5 train, Fulton St station

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Or a Hologram — I Always Get Them Confused

Hispanic woman #1: … And he was all, ‘You’re not sick, it’s your diet.’
Hispanic woman #2: But you’re not on a diet.
Hispanic woman #1: No, no, he meant what I eat makes me sick. Then I told him when I’m sick I take NyQuil, and he said I can’t do that.
Hispanic woman #2: Why not?
Hispanic woman #1: Girl, he’s a Holocaust.

–34th & 8th

Overheard by: Lepidus

There’s the Reason Not to Be into Sex

Girl: It’s not that I’m not attracted to you, it’s just that I’m not as into sex as you are.
Guy: That’s bullshit — you’re only 22 and you’ve fucked 24 people. You are definitely into sex.
Children from school bus directly next to the couple, all leaning out the window: Seeex!

–Irving & Eldert, Bushwick

Overheard by: alex