Archive for 2007

From Sodom to SoHo

Man #1: I have a book coming out this year, so I’m looking forward to that.
Man #2: Oh, yeah? What’s it about?
Man #1: It’s an oral history of anal sex.
Man #2: [Silence.]
Man #1: It was a lot of hard work, but it was a real labor of love.

–Locker room, McBurney YMCA, 14th St & 6th Ave


Headline by: Ryan


Runners-Up:
· “”Annals of Anal”” – Janet E.
· “But the Title is a Mouthful” – Meredith
· “It’s called ‘Talking Out of Your Ass'” – Chris Polubinski
· “Love’s Labours Lubed” – CJC
· “Rim & Punishment” – Fru
· “The Mangina Monologues” – bowloftoast




Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners Are Like a Dog in Heat

Conductor: Hey, clear the closing doors, bitch.

–8th St

Chick on cell: So, how did your date go? Did she call the police on you this week? … Did she have you escorted out of her building this week? … No? Then why did you call me? You just wanted to tell me that? … Oh, you had a big fight? Was it because she’s a crazy bitch?

–225th & Broadway

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Eight-year-old boy to younger kid: If we were in prison you’d be my bitch!

–Hudson & Christopher

Overheard by: Talia

Black man: Went out, got that bitch some food. Bitch was hungry. Got her some food, took her out back, and she sucked my dick. Licked my balls. She’s only 21. Gonna marry that bitch.

–34th & 8th

Guy to buddy: No, it actually sucks because she’s a selfish bitch. She switched our cell phones because mine vibrates better… So she can get off in her cube.

–Hershey store, Times Square

Dude on cell: Well… Well, there’s groups of bitches. There’s, like, a group of bitches here… and a group of bitches there.

–Outside bar, 32nd & 4th, Brooklyn

Overheard by: A Lone Bitch

Guy in full yellow suit with matching hat: I don’t get this girl. You know what I’m saying, ’cause you know I’m the nicest nigga to a bitch.

–Waiting for the L, Union Square

Wednesday One-Liners Check ‘In a Relationship’

Chick on cell: I always end up dating people whose names aren’t actually their names.

–Harlem

Overheard by: Ladle

Woman on cell: There’s this guy I think is really hot. He’s gained some weight and lost his hair… but in a graceful way. No, no, nothing like that. He’s really nice and he’s so smart… Well, he drinks a lot.

–Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: MHY

Woman to friend: 2006 was a terrible year, but 2007 is gonna be better… No men in my life! But there’s this man at my job, and I’m trying to stay away from him, but I just can’t. From the moment I saw him… Whew! One day he said to me, ‘Girl, put your hand in my pocket, I got some lunch money in there for you.’ And I did it, and… Whew! I said, ‘I know what that is… That’s no lunch money… Let me feel it again.’

–F train

Overheard by: liza

Man on cell: If I can’t get an American Jewish woman to go out with me… then there must be something wrong with American Jewish women!

–45th & 8th

Overheard by: Melanie

British chick to guy: I’m not breaking up with you in that sense…

–49th St, between 9th & 10th Ave

Overheard by: nyamelia

Hipster chick: … And I’m like, ‘I love you.’ And he’s like, ‘Get away from me.’ I think he’s just afraid of commitment.

–7th Ave

Overheard by: Regina Deorum

Woman to friends: Who needs a boyfriend when you’ve got a dog who farts?

–Max Brenner, Broadway, between 13th & 14th