Archive for 2007

At Least, That’s My Master’s Thesis

Preppy girl #1: What’s the difference between men’s shaving cream and women’s shaving cream?
Preppy girl #2: Um… I think it’s a different chemical reaction or something.

–CVS, Willets Pt & Francis Lewis Blvd, Queens

Overheard by: Jackie R.

Why the US Celebrates Mother’s Day

Mother: Oh my god, close the goddamn window! Close it!
Kid: No! I’m hot!
Mother: I swear. Oh my god, close the window!
Kid: Nooo!
Mother, moving to adjacent seat: You know what? You [points to laughing stranger] — she’s your new mommy. Listen to her.
New mommy: Boy, close that window. Oh my god, close that window!

–M60 bus to LaGuardia

Overheard by: Kevo

Keds? Really?

Girl: Fall Out Boy would fuck me for my shoes.
Friend: Yo, I would fuck you for your shoes.
Cashier: Lemme see your shoes? [Nods] I’d fuck you for your shoes.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Myshoes

It Tingled

Rider #1: America’s a great country, but people don’t want to defend her. They don’t want to go to the front lines and get their brains blown out.
Rider #2: Been there; done that.

–D train

But Instead I Just Tape It and Send It to Jason

Roommate #1: Were you dreaming about Jason last night? You were moaning so loud it woke me up.
Roommate #2: Oh my god, I was? Have I ever done that before?
Roommate #1: All the time. Every once in a while I think about kicking you or something to see if you cum.

–NYU