Archive for 2007

Boys Are Quick to Master No-Dish Meals

Kid #1: … So then I took a waffle and I filled it with eggs and grits and syrup, and I folded the whole thing up and ate it like a taco…
Kid #2: What? You’re going to catch diabetes that way!
Kid #3: What are grits, anyway? What do grits taste like?
Kid #1: Syrup. They taste like syrup.

–Canarsie-bound L train

Ah, the Terrible Twos

Lady professor #1: She’s growing up so fast… Before you know it she’ll be smoking cigarettes and having affairs.
Lady professor #2: Which isn’t that bad…
Lady professor #1: Well, I guess you’re right.

–Hunter College

Why DVD Rentals Are So Popular

Mom: Are you okay in there, sweetie?
Little girl in stall: I can’t button my pants.
Mom: It’s alright. Just come on out.
Little girl in stall: And I pooped on the floor.

–Bathroom, AMC Theatres, Times Square

Oh! The Fucking Places You’ll Go!

Conductor: Everything’s running normal this weekend.
Black woman: Everything runnin’ normal this weekend? Shit, I could take this train to fuckin’… fuckin’ anywhere!

–Q train

Overheard by: office peon

Headline by: Marc

· “Alice in Wonderland, New York Style” – Anastasia Poushkareva
· “Around the Hood in Eighty Days” – ad neal
· “I Meant My Colon” – I Got Real Mail
· “Just a fuckin’ small town girl, livin’ in a fuckin’ lonely world…” – karaoke queen
· “Transfers available to up your ass and go fuck yourself.” – mark manne
· “Why Reading Rainbow and drugs don’t mix” – mike

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