Archive for 2007

I Need to Go Bathe in Urine Now

Bus driver on intercom as it starts to rain: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey… C’mon, everybody!
Entire bus, singing: You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you — please don’t take my sunshine away.
Chick: I think that was the least-New York moment of my entire life.

–M79 bus

Well, Duh

Mom to screaming child: Shut the fuck up!
Man: Yeah, keep telling your kid ‘Shut the fuck up’ so he can grow up and steal my car someday.

–6 train

Overheard by: ChickyWang

Just Get Her a “Be Like Me” T-shirt with Your Picture

NYU student: So, I think I’m just going to tell my girlfriend, ‘You know, I’ve been going to the gym a lot, working out, watching what I eat, and I think you should, too.’
Friend, as all receptionists stare: Yeah, no — you really can’t say that.

–Palladium Gym, NYU

Boys Are Quick to Master No-Dish Meals

Kid #1: … So then I took a waffle and I filled it with eggs and grits and syrup, and I folded the whole thing up and ate it like a taco…
Kid #2: What? You’re going to catch diabetes that way!
Kid #3: What are grits, anyway? What do grits taste like?
Kid #1: Syrup. They taste like syrup.

–Canarsie-bound L train

Ah, the Terrible Twos

Lady professor #1: She’s growing up so fast… Before you know it she’ll be smoking cigarettes and having affairs.
Lady professor #2: Which isn’t that bad…
Lady professor #1: Well, I guess you’re right.

–Hunter College