Archive for 2007

And She Shows Up for It

Girl #1: Where was Liz last night?
Girl #2: Oh, you didn’t hear?
Girl #1: Hear what?
Girl #2: She went to her boyfriend’s grandmother’s 82nd birthday!
Girl #1: Oh, that’s sweet. Why are you so upset by that?
Girl #2: Her boyfriend’s grandmother died four years ago! Apparently the family has been celebrating it every year! They have a cake with candles and everything.

–16th & 7th

I’m Not Gay, but I Don’t Much Like Men

Little sis: I don’t know. I’m just really confused. Like, how am I supposed to know what I want in a guy? You know? Like, what’s your perfect guy?
Big sis: One with 6 weeks to live.
Little sis: Huh?
Big sis: Nevermind… God, that would be great, though.

–1 train platform, 23rd St

And Then Fail Them… Oh, Wait

Student: Do I need to do the math extra credit project?!
Teacher: Yes, because on Friday when you come to me and ask if you are failing, I’m gonna laugh at you. Then you will go home and tell your family that I laughed at you. Then they will come up to school and yell at me and I’ll laugh at them.

–Forest Hills school

Overheard by: laughing my ass off at my classmate

Should the Chain Be Stronger Than Your Neck?

Teen thug #1: You spent a thousand dollas on that chain?!
Teen thug #2: Yeah.
Teen thug #1: A thousand dollas? On that bullshit?!
Teen thug #2: This is titanium, son! Ain’t nothin’ stronger than this!

–3 train, 125th St

Overheard by: [email protected]