Archive for 2007

Okay, Now We Know Why You’re Still Single

Chick #1: She got really upset with me for telling him that she got her wedding dress online.
Chick #2: Oh, I kind of understand that–
Chick #3, furiously: –What?! She can take his dick in her mouth, but she can’t tell him she got her wedding dress online?! She can put her face in his ass and not tell him she got her fucking dress online?!

–Pizza place near 5th Ave & DeGraw, Park Slope

An Attorney? Contribute to Society?

Hobo to girl with two bags and seven textbooks: Damn, girl, where you goin’ wid all dem books? You rob a Barnes and Noble or somethin’? You tryin’a sell your shit, too? Yeah, you know how it is…
Girl: No, I’ve actually spent the last 18 hours in the library studying for my law school exams so I can become an attorney and contribute to society. But I’m sure you know all about that.
Hobo: Yeah, law school ain’t work out for me, neither. How much you sellin’ that New York Peen… Penal… Oh, shit! You learn about dicks and clits and shit in law school?!

–Church St, TriBeCa