Archive for 2007

But I’ll Pick Out a Nice One

Mom: Why don’t you pick out some nice earrings for me for Mother’s Day?
Little boy: I don’t have that much money. For Mother’s Day I’m getting you a hot dog.

–Gift store, the Met

Overheard by: Ki

I Heard That!

NYU student on cell: … And she didn’t realize that I was just, like, just so itchy!
Friend with her: Man, why are all the stupid girls in this city always on their cell phones?

–22nd & 2nd

Overheard by: jharris

So Hold Still

Chick: James Brown died.
Dude: No, he didn’t!
Chick: Yeah, he did!
Dude: But… He’s right there! [Points at TV.]
Chick: Yeah. That’s cool, isn’t it?
Dude: What were we talking about before this shit?
Chick: Cutting off your cheek.
Dude: Right.

–McDonald’s

John Travolta will take any role

Girl: What I really want is a guy who is kind of skinny and almost homosexual.
Fat male passerby: I can be that guy!

–14th & 2nd

Headline by: h

Runners-Up:
· “But One Who Isn’t a Scientologist and Didn’t Star in the “Mission Impossible” Movies” – Hostrauser

· “Drew Carey Believes He’s a Hipster.” – Stephalee
· “I Can Be Seven Of That Guy” – Belvedere Jones
· “I’m Not Skinny, but I’m All the Way Homosexual–it Balances Out.” – KarenD
· “It Was Rosie O’Donnell” – Jess K.


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Sorry about Your Damaged Chromosomes, Honey

Man, as ‘Angie’ by Rolling Stones plays: Oh, man, this song reminds me of being on acid.
Wife, laughing: Me, too.
Man, as ‘Tales of Brave Ulysses’ by Cream comes on: Okay, no, this song reminds me of being on acid!
Wife: Me, too!
20-something daughter: I can totally hear you guys!

–Schiller’s, Rivington St

Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds