Tourist fighting crowd and accosted by preacher with flyers: ‘Cause it’s not crowed enough without Jesus on the sidewalk?!
–Times Square, 45th & 7th
Hoochie: It is hard to think about Jesus with a dick in your mouth.
–O’Connor’s Bar, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Was just watching the game until I heard that
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, today I’d like to talk to you about our Lord. Now, let’s be honest, you all look beaten, you look broken, you need the light of the Almighty. Well, for just five cents a day I can bring Jesus into your life. Just five cents in my cup and you can have our savior for the rest of the day. Don’t be shy — you can all have Jesus for the entire month if you want.
–Crowded S train leaving Grand Central
Four-year-old boy waving at Evan Almighty poster: Hi, Jesus!
–63rd Dr, Rego Park station
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, Jesus Christ is driving this train.
Middle schooler: When I die I’m gonna go to heaven and ask Jesus if Santa Claus is real, and then I’m gonna laugh in your face!
–Fort Tyron Park
Overheard by: E.F. Schubert