Archive for 2007

UN Negotiators Don’t Have the Tact They Used To

Vendor to lady haggling in Chinese: We’re not Chinese — we’re Vietnamese. Fuck off.

–Canal St

Overheard by: tj

Headline by: Chris

Runners-Up:
· “Don’t Make Me Shank You” – Joeritos
· “Even They Can’t Tell Each Other Apart.” – marko
· “Everyone’s a Rittle Bit Lacist” – Mikey G.
· “The Melting Pot Is Full” – Ecc
· “You Say Tǔ Dòu (potato) and I Say Khoai Tây (po-tah-to)” – H2


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners Don’t Mind If You Put Your Hand Up There

Man selling handmade finger puppets: It’s the only place you can give someone the finger without being offensive!

–58th & Madison

Overheard by: Suriya

Loud Brit to no one in particular: No matter what happens, I will not be a puppet!

–9th & 4th station

Overheard by: Russ Wall

Skinny, dirty guy: I’m your fuckin’ puppeteer, bro. I’ll crawl right into your asshole and control your every move.

–Houston

Overheard by: AdHoculi

History grad student: It’s a long story. And much better if told with finger puppets.

–Library, Barnard College

Wednesday One-Liners?

Girl: Is it spring that makes the cherry blossoms bloom, or the cherry blossoms that make spring bloom?

–Hunter College cafeteria

Overheard by: Traczie

Tourist chick looking at subway map: Is the Irish pub on here?

–6 train, Grand Central

Overheard by: Dee Phunk

Woman on cell, looking at directions: Numbers go up, right?

–23rd & 6th

Overheard by: V

Tourist girl: Manhattan is an island?! Is it a man-made island?

–N train

Overheard by: Sirius

Chick to friend: What religion is Buddha the king of?

–Central Park

Blonde: Why haven’t they just fixed the economy already?

–L train

Overheard by: widdershawns

Wednesday One-Liners Would Like Extra Mayo

Black guy: White guys look at women more holistically.

–Q station, Cortelyou Rd

Overheard by: LC

Little boy: Why do white people say, ‘Like, like, like, like, like’? Is that the only word in their vocabulary?

–14th & Broadway

18-year-old thug, as doors open: Bye, all you white folk! Buh-bye!

–A train, Howard Beach/JFK stop

Overheard by: Thompson

Thug: Yo, I just watched a white kid get tasered on the news last night, and I was like, ‘Yeah, yeah, get him!’

–181st & St. Nicholas

Overheard by: I knew that kid

Three-year-old girl to no one in particular: The white man is everywhere. [Mother looks at her, puzzled. Girl gazes up at crosswalk sign] The white man tells us when to go.

–86th & 2nd

Overheard by: Damn the man!