Archive for 2007

Back in the Closet! Back, I Say!

Guy #1: I love Tom Brady — not just the fact he’s a great football player, but he knocked up that hot chick, too.
Guy #2: I know, man. He’s a real handsome guy.
Guy #3: Yo, I was just thinking that, too! I would eat his asshole.

–Outside Ski Bar, 72nd & 5th, Bay Ridge

Overheard by: stevesoph

Then I Can’t Help You because You’re Not Real

Brit: Hello, my HSBC debit card isn’t working at the ATM. The bank probably thinks there’s fraudulent activity since I’m in America and not in England.
Teller: Okay, I’ll check it out… I can’t seem to find your account, sir. What’s your social security number?
Brit: Huh?
Teller: Your social security number — do you not have one?
Brit: No…
Teller: Hmmm. Okay…

–HSBC, 40th & 5th

Overheard by: Rachel W.

Headline by: have SSS #, am real

· “…Then Please Sing the National Anthem.” – pbump

· “How About Your Penis Size, Then?” – Mikey G.
· “I’ve Contacted Homeland Security. Enjoy Syria.” – Daniel Patterson
· “Okay I Need You to Fill Out IRS Form W-7 and Apply for a Tax Id Number and Then Come Back to This Counter in 4-6 Months.” – Ty

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Helpfulness: A NYC Short Story

Loud, garbled announcement about disrupted rush hour service in background.

Uptight lady suit, smiling anxiously: What? What did she say?
Hipster: She said, ‘Grble chzmglpt blgshqt skzdbkt…’ [Continues, accurately mimicking entire garbled announcement.]
Uptight lady suit, disturbed: Oh.

–IRT Station, 110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Christopher Stone