Professor: If any of you are sad about Anna Nicole, see me after class. I’ll give you a bitch slap. –NYU Family man: We watched two guys fight to the death over a parking space, and then we went to the Ice Capades. –Central Park, W 72nd Overheard by: Rachel Conductor: There will be no fighting on my train! Y’all gonna make me miss my lunch! –N train Overheard by: Shawnito Hobo to entire platform: You’ve seen cripple fights. You’ve seen hobo boxing. Now prepare yourselves for rich white assholes pushing to get on the train. [Train pulls in.] Briefcases may be used as shields. Good luck, folks. –4/5 platform, Union Square Overheard by: Orson Father holding daughter’s hand: You can’t just kick people when you don’t get what you want, Victoria. –Mott & Canal St Overheard by: Marie Teacher: See that guy in the mural? See how many muscles he has? If he wanted to, he could kick your ass. Look at Galileo. Even Galileo could kick your ass! –Brooklyn Tech High School Overheard by: Liz Six-year-old: If you go to my school, you get yo’ ass jumped. –107th & Manhattan Overheard by: Emily B.
Frat boy: Okay, guys, to recap: We’re not going to tell my parents about getting arrested, the Xanax, my nipples…
Other guys, in unison: Got it. –Canal & Lafayette Overheard by: klulita
Train conductor: This is Atlantic Avenue. If you don't want to be left in the city get off now, if you are going to the city, buckle up… wooo hoooo!
Ghetto woman: This nigga lost his mind.
Ghetto child: Just like daddy?
Suit: Fucking morons! (walks off train) –Q Train Overheard by: Got Off On Atlantic
Small man: Looks like you got a full lunch there.
Large man: Nah, just a donut, coffee, and a sandwich.
Small man: Oh, maybe just half a lunch then. [Pause] You should eat better.
Large man: Oh, I should, huh? –Broad St, Financial District
Asian chick: I’m just so sick of failing in general. –NYU Bobst Library Overheard by: jason NYU girl to friends: Well, he’s not always drunk. Sometimes he’s high. –Prince & Mercer NYU chick: I found out I didn’t have AIDS… I went to Whole Foods… It was a good day. –27th & Park Overheard by: It was a good day NYU bimbette: All popular people have herpes. Just look at them! –NYU NYU chick: Yeah, we almost broke up like four or five times, so I think that’s indicative that we’re happy together. –Bowery & Canal NYU girl on cell: I don’t know what to do about going abroad. My parents want me to go to London, but I looked at my Tarot cards and they’re telling me Dublin. What should I do? –721 Broadway Overheard by: Tyler Queer student: I don’t really have a problem with incest, but in my family there aren’t many lookers. –NYU Silver Center
Smart girl: Well, he needs to check with his partner to see if we can have dogs in the apartment.
Hot guy: So, do you think he's gay?
Smart girl: No! He's Spanish. –Pelham Parkway & Cruger Ave, The Bronx Overheard by: Dazed and Confused
Brit: Hello, my HSBC debit card isn’t working at the ATM. The bank probably thinks there’s fraudulent activity since I’m in America and not in England.
Teller: Okay, I’ll check it out… I can’t seem to find your account, sir. What’s your social security number?
Teller: Your social security number — do you not have one?
Teller: Hmmm. Okay… –HSBC, 40th & 5th Overheard by: Rachel W. Headline by: have SSS #, am real Runners-Up:
· “…Then Please Sing the National Anthem.” – pbump
· “How About Your Penis Size, Then?” – Mikey G.
· “I’ve Contacted Homeland Security. Enjoy Syria.” – Daniel Patterson
· “Okay I Need You to Fill Out IRS Form W-7 and Apply for a Tax Id Number and Then Come Back to This Counter in 4-6 Months.” – Ty
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Kid on scooter: Where are the brakes on this?
Kid on scooter #2: What is “brakes?” –Sunset Park Overheard by: blistxaddict
Guy #1: It is so over, but he doesn’t know it yet.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: Yeah. Too much wifey drama. –The Roxy, W. 18th Street Overheard by: Carlynn Houghton
Teen girl #1: Noooo! Getting your cooch pierced be a bad idea. You know how much that shit hurts?
Teen girl #2: No shit! That’s why I’m gonna be on E at the time. You think I’m stupid enough to do it sober? –Columbus Circle station Overheard by: Djlindee