The Wheels on the Wednesday One-Liners Go Round and Round

Bus driver: The next stop on this bus is Fifth Avenue. Please have your passports ready! –M79 bus Bus driver: This is the Manhattan number one bus. Destination: San Juan, Puerto Rico. –M1 bus Bus driver: East Tremont Avenue, transfer to the 40 and 42… Put on those running shoes, there’s the 40 now! –Fordham-bound Bx22 bus Overheard by: Black Knight Bus driver: Okay, now everyone move to the right side of the bus. We’re running on three wheels today, and we have to stay balanced. –M14 bus Overheard by: Almost moved to the other side of the bus Bus driver: To your right you’ll see a bronze statue of Adam Clayton Powell, first black member of Congress… Looks like he’s runnin’ from the cops. –125th & Adam Clayton Powell Blvd Overheard by: sueinthecity Bus driver, about jackhammers outside: Do you hear that, people? That’s the sound of real labor! [Plays the sound of the jackhammers on the intercom] Embrace it! –Q88 bus

Wednesday One-Liners Prefer to Be Called ‘Caucasian’

Hispanic guy to another, leaving restroom: Man, it smells like white man’s shit in there. –Trump Tower, 5th Ave Hobo to hispanic guy on cell: Are there any white people in this town? –Wyckoff & Troutman, Brooklyn Overheard by: they’re coming Woman: But it’s Aryan night… –116th & Broadway Hobo playing guitar: I’ve got three kids at home — I’ll take anything. I’ll take food stamps, hair weave, Chinese people’s money, change, food, weed… I’ll even take white people’s money. –1 train Overheard by: trooshieb Black lady: Harlem is up and coming, but it ain’t come up yet. I need to see a few more white people jogging at six a.m. before I sign a lease above 125th. –7 train