Little British girl: Mummy, I absolutely love Queens. It is like being in the city, but you are really still in the countryside! –Astoria Overheard by: has actually been to the countryside Hipster to hipster friends: I could never live in a place called Queens. –Ave B & E 4th St Overheard by: PROUD QUEENS NATIVE… Conductor: You may also transfer here to the g train to Queens. Queens, which was named after Freddie Mercury. –F Train Loud recently released passenger: I love Queens. Love Queens. I don't want to be locked up anywhere but Queens. –Metro North Rail Overheard by: bunbury
Seven-year-old boy to father: Did you know that when you get into middle school, all the girls care about is whether you're rich and have a cute ass? In elementary school, they only care about if you can run fast. If you run the fastest, you get all the girls. –Flushing, Queens Overheard by: Tara Small boy to teacher in increasingly panicky voice: Is this Narnia? We're not Narnians yet, right?! –NYU Kimmel Center Overheard by: Narnia @ NYU? Five-year-old to three-year-old brother: Listen, we're going to have food all winter. It's hibernation. You know what hibernation is, don't you? Hibernation is when animals eat a lot of food and sleep all winter. We're gonna hibernate! –M104 Bus Overheard by: Samantha Little kid: Grandma, smell this! It's Obsession for Men! –Bergdorf Goodman Sobbing five-year-old girl to mom in CD section: I wanna download, I don't wanna waste my money. –Borders, Columbus Circle Overheard by: Can records labels sue toddlers?
Four-year-old girl on tricycle: Why don’t you make more babies?
Yuppie mother: Because Daddy made you and your brother, and he thinks he did a pretty good job.
Four-year-old girl: But Mommy, do you want to make more babies?
Yuppie mother: Well, it takes two to tango!
Yuppie father: [Silence.] –23rd & 8th
Distraught woman: So, you know, I got a flat tire… Not on the Honda, you know, the Volvo.
Distraught woman: Well, this guy comes over to help me, but it turns out he only stopped because he was a foot fetishist… –1 train Overheard by: probably why she was on the subway
Observant girl, pointing at something on the sidewalk: Is that an animal?
Downright perceptive guy: No. That’s a pair of pants. –1st & 1st Overheard by: Peter Horan
Italian dude: So, are you interested in men?
Coffee house chick: I’m only interested in alternative lifestyle karaoke characters. –Waltz-Astoria, 24th St & Ditmars Blvd
Guy looking at books, to no one in particular: I don’t want to hear or see anything about the devil, demons, voodoo or big hairy black guys. –Barnes & Noble Overheard by: 153 Guy hawking pamphlets: How to sucker punch the devil right in the ass! –W 12th & Brodway Overheard by: Why didn’t I get that pamphlet?! Coworker about colleague: Every time he comes by here the number 666 comes up. –1250 Broadway Punk kid, walking past a group of nuns: Hail Satan! –Waverly & Greene Professor: I don’t want to be saved, I want to go to hell. I’ll meet interesting people there! –Cooper Union, Astor Place Overheard by: Hopefully not me! Crazy older lady screaming on cell: You what? You are buying soda? You are going to go to fucking hell! Don’t you remember the promise you made to god? You’re probably standing in line with some goddamn candy too. You are going to hell! –W Train Overheard by: DR G LUV
Mom: Let’s go inside, these flies are driving me crazy.
Six-year-old daughter: But mom, it’s nature. –Sidewalk Cafe, 120th & Malcolm X
Lady #1: Where are we going to sleep?
Lady #2: We can put the mattresses together.
Lady #3: But there's gonna be a crack.
Lady #1: I'll sleep in the crack.
Lady #2: I love crack! –Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Cait Saint
Chick: I can’t believe you can talk about how much you love your country, and you don’t even pay taxes!
Dude: I’ve paid more taxes than you’ve sucked dick. Which is a lot.
Chick, after long pause: I don’t know why you’re walking so fast — nothing’s happening when we get to your apartment. –4th St & the Bowery