An old lady is crossing the street with a small dachshund. As they approach Gray’s Papaya, the woman looks down and asks: Jimmy, did you say you wanted a hot dog? –72nd & Broadway Overheard by: Jonathan
Woman #1: I heard this train fell into the river one time. Is that true?
Woman #2: I dunno. I don’t see how it could. Maybe it could fall off to the side or something, but straight down? How would it get off the tracks?
Woman #1: I heard it fell into the river like nine years ago. Somebody told me that when I was in Miami. –J train, en route via Williamsburg Bridge
Don Juan: Sure I got a seven inch dick, but the thing no one ever talks about is I got a seven inch ball sack, too. –Avenue A
Girl #1: We were late ’cause he was looking at himself. Just looking at himself. I go in, and he’s checking himself in the mirror, making faces, and I get all mad at him, and he’s like, ‘What?!’
Girl #2: He must be really into himself. Men don’t do that.
Girl #1: He is good-looking, though. –6 Train
Homeless Advocate: A penny for the homeless! A penny is all we ask. Everyone is ignoring me over a penny. Don’t laugh at me. It’s not funny. –Times Square
Yuppie: Democracy only works when you work to make the laws you want happen. Have you ever worked to get a law passed?
Hipster: Yes, I have, as a matter of fact!
Yuppie: Okay. What issue was it, and what did you do?
Hipster: Give me some time to think about it, I’m sure that I once did something but I don’t remember it this second. – Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Russian girl #1: Stop calling me that!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong?
Russian girl #1: She keeps on calling me Natasha!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong with that?
Russian girl #1: Because that’s not my name! –B82 Bus
Woman: I’ve never seen so many cars out there.
Cashier: The Jewish people are praying.
Cashier: Yeah, I think tomorrow is the start of Ramadan. –Wendy’s, Bensonhurst
Lady Lawyer: He says, ‘She doesn’t appreciate me.’ Come on, you’re in prison. What’s she going to appreciate, that you made her a personalized license plate? –Starbucks, Wall St.
Man: A woman was killed today by a falling cross.
Woman: Oh my God! –Madison & 42nd