Actor speaking on his cell phone on the subway: “I’m starring in a play called Andorra, about a fictional country in Europe.”
Flygirl #1: My brother was like mad drunk when his lady went into labor. He was gonna beat up these guys that were messing with our little brother, but he didn’t have his gun. He passed out but his friend got his ass to the hospital.
Flygirl #2: He gonna be such a good daddy.
Flygirl #1: Yeah. –2 train
Teen Girl #1: …and like it felt like something was crawling…it felt weird.
Teen Girl #2: Didya scratch?
Teen Girl #1: Hell naw! What I’ma look like, scratchin’ my crotch in front of the whole class? –D train
Businessman: There was a flatbed truck on 5th Ave. There were all these musicians in it with their guitars, and everyone was chanting Bone-o!.
Woman: That’s U2.
Businessman: Oh, OK. I wanted to say, “Which one’s Bone-o?”
Woman: Which one’s Bozo, you should have said.
Businessman: The little guy; is he Spanish?
Businessman: He said, “Buenos dias.” I wanted to know if that was him. –Burger Heaven, 49th St.
Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I’m just kidding. –Midtown Office
Patron: What kind of sauce is on the linguine alla marinara? –Olive Garden, Chelsea Overheard by: Brad Palmertree
Guy #1: Dude, I was at work today, just shootin’ the shit, killin’ some extra time, and I came across the fucking coolest website.
Guy #2: Oh yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, it’s called OverheardinNewYork.com. It’s just all these little snippets of overheard conversations, they’re fuckin’ hilarious! –Irvine Spectrum, Irvine, California
Homeless preacher: Any man can be President, but only one man can be in the White House: the White Man. –53rd & 5th Ave Hobo: My pope, he’s a terrible pope. –52nd & Broadway
Tourist chick: Of course he doesn’t speak English…at least until you piss on his floor. –Chinatown
Fax Guy: I never made that bet with you. We didn’t shake on it.
Fax Girl: You can’t do that. We had a bet. You believe this shit? He’s trying to renig on the bet.
Tech Guy: Um, isn’t the term renege? Like, short for renegotiate.
Tech Girl: Not with this nigger it’s not. –Downtown Office