Embrace Your Mediocrity

Girl: Why do my friends say I'm a hipster? I am not a hipster!!
Guy: No, you're not a hipster at all. You shower every day.
Girl: Exactly! So what am I?
Guy: You're just a semi-productive person.

–1st Ave & 10th St

There Is No Defense Against Fresh Fruit

Teen to another, playing fruit ninja on phone: Mango! Apple! Lime! Apple! Bomb! Mango! Rare fruit! Rare fruit! Rare fruit!
Woman across. taking apple out of bag and throwing it at screaming teen: Shut the fuck up!

–Uptown 1 Train

Wednesday One-Liners Adjust Their Tiaras

JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer.

–Spot’s Café

JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies!

–Hunter College

Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine.

–University & 12th

JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion!

–17th & 6th

NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight!

–Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm

Overheard by: Maya G.

Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Ponine