You Can’t Tell, But We’re Cyber-blushing

Guy #1: Dude, I was at work today, just shootin’ the shit, killin’ some extra time, and I came across the fucking coolest website.
Guy #2: Oh yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, it’s called OverheardinNewYork.com. It’s just all these little snippets of overheard conversations, they’re fuckin’ hilarious! –Irvine Spectrum, Irvine, California

The Etymology of the Absurd

Fax Guy: I never made that bet with you. We didn’t shake on it.
Fax Girl: You can’t do that. We had a bet. You believe this shit? He’s trying to renig on the bet.
Tech Guy: Um, isn’t the term renege? Like, short for renegotiate.
Tech Girl: Not with this nigger it’s not. –Downtown Office

Check Your Attitude While You’re At It

Bag check guy: I want your bag.
Comic book chick: Pardon?
Bag check guy: You know the rules. Give me your bag.
Comic book chick: Sorry, I didn’t know I had to check this.
Bag check guy: What did you think, that I’m just some crazy black man sitting up here harassing people?
Comic book chick: Could be.
Bag check guy: That’s true. –Forbidden Planet, 13th Street