Moneybags: I’m thinking about selling one of my sailboats. It got a leak in the dining room, so I figure why not? –Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd Overheard by: Greg Rutter Suit on cell: …yeah, I passed out with one shoe, but when I woke up they were both gone! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: ianr
Girl with headphones: Olivia? She’s a whore!…and she’s the most important person at school. –Grand St. & West Broadway Overheard by: John Kuramoto
Lady: Excuse me sir, can I bum a ciga…oh, you’re smoking a joint. –3rd Ave. & 12th Street Overheard by: David H
Frantic hipster: Please tell me you have The Golden Girls on DVD!
Employee: Nope, we are all sold out.
Frantic hipster: Dammit! It’s sold out everywhere! What am I going to do? –Barnes & Noble, Chelsea Overheard by: Rehey11
Ma: She said, “OK, Mommy!”. She took it like an angel. She’s really good at taking medicine. –D train
A hobo stumbles into the store, yelling things and making everyone uncomfortable. Suddenly, he stumbles upon the rack with copies of the New York Times, an image of Iraq on the front page. He stares in silence for a moment, and says: You think it’s bad being homeless? Imagine being in Fallujah! –Starbucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave. Overheard by: Andrea Two hobos are drinking malt liquor from paper bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dismay: …I tell you, I tell you–that’s why they’ll [sic] never be peace in the Middle East. –29th St. & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Tricia Karsay
Woman: How’s the paella?
Waitress: It’s good. It comes with clams and the whole nine yards. –Panchito’s, Macdougal St.
Woman, 50s: I eat Cheerios every morning.
Man, 50s: Cheerios are good for your heart. –Popeye’s, Bay Ridge
Guy: I’ve been to Germany twice because I have a friend who’s from there. I went to Oktoberfest, but it was in June.
Hans: They had Oktoberfest in June? It must have been just for you…American tourists. –25th St. & 3rd Ave.
Girl on cell: Mom, of course I’m not going to be there on Monday. It’s Columbus Day. Co-lum-bus. It’s a holiday. –Broadway & 13th Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz