A couple of black kids are pushing around a Hispanic kid, who is holding a spoon covered in chocolate pudding for some reason. Black Kid: Wipe that shit off, nigger. Wipe it off! –14th St. & 1st Ave.
Visit Historic Gotham
New Yorker: There’s the Brooklyn Bridge over there. You can walk over it.
Tourist: Really?
New Yorker: Yep.
Tourist: And is this City Hall?
New Yorker: Yes. I don’t know this area very well…there’s Starbucks!
–City Hall Park
I Love Table Tennis, However
Young man #1: Do you want to play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: Do you play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: REALLY?????? You don’t play ping pong?????
–N. 11th St, Williamsburg
Thankfully There’s Only 2 From Each State
Man #1: They’re just a bunch of high-class lowlifes.
Man #2: Yeah, and I’m one of them!
–D’Agastino’s, 26th St.
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Actually She Gave Me Some Good Chick Advice
Literary Agent: I’m full of shit. I can’t help it! –36th Street
Out of Wedlock Fun
His Baby’s Momma: He don’t pay child support. He don’t ever see her. That’s it! I’m calling his fucking parole officer! –West Village
Piss Off
Man Urinating Publicly: What do I care? I’m a convict! –Waverly Place Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Those Satanic Greeks
A group of punks walk by the Hellenic Steaks restaurant. Punk: This restaurant is perfect for me: I love steak, and I love Satan! –Astoria
What About Science?
Waitress: Is that book you’re reading fiction or theory? –Cosi
I’m Like a Chocoholic, Except with Vodka
Employee: I bring my beer in the shower with me and I put it on the ledge so it doesn’t get wet. Sometimes I also have a couple of shots in the kitchen. –Office, Midtown Overheard by: Jenny Rogers