Wednesday One-Liners Haven’t Met Most Of Their Friends

Yuppie: I don’t google enough.

–F Train, 7th Ave

Overheard by: imaginexrach

Girl on cell: Not being on Facebook is ruining my life!

–NYU Bus

Overheard by: Asian Kid

Assistant on phone, about her 17-year-old daughter’s MySpace page: I find it interesting that she and her friend Shannon have the same friend listed. Some 32-year-old guy in California named Tom!

–Office on 42nd & Madison

Overheard by: herspace

Man: I’m going to go home and e-mail some shameless bitches.

–8th St & Broadway

Grad student at computer, dolefully: Without right-click I just don’t know what to do with the world.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

If Wednesday One-Liners Did It

Woman on cell: Are you really surprised that Marcus turned out to be a serial killer?

–Times Square

Overheard by: shex

College dude on cell: No, the entire male species is going to die, remember?

–Times Square

Overheard by: glad i’m a girl.

Aviator-wearing rocker wannabe: Dude, seriously, think about it. Why aren’t there more serial killers?!

–Union Square West at 16th St

Guy: You know, I pray for the days when I find bodies…

–Lorimer St & Metropolitan Ave

Columbia newspaper reporter: Dude, you can’t just kill one person and be a serial killer. You have to work up to being a serial killer.

–Columbia Spectator Office

Overheard by: And you know from experience?

Cashier to friend: Yeah, there’s this couple that comes in every week and rents serial killer movies.

–Brooklyn Video Rental Store

Overheard by: tiff

Conductor: Thank you for riding MTA, and remember to smile. You’ll confuse the people who want to kill you!

–L train

Overheard by: Paige

How Copy Editors Blow Off Steam

Metrosexual guy: If I was some fish…
Girl, not looking up from her bus schedule: Grammar just cried.
Metrosexual guy: I don’t follow you.
Girl: Good, because if you did, I would have to have you arrested.
Metrosexual guy: I am so confused.
Girl: Do the words ‘you are an idiot’ confuse you?
Metrosexual guy: I hate you.

–28th & 5th