Bling bling guy: It’s all real baby! It’s all real! You wanna see it? It’s all real! Maybe when you get some of your own, then you’ll know. It’s all real! Take a look!… I think I freaked her out, callin’ her out like that. –Whitehall Street station
Woman: Yeah, you know, my oldest son’s father wasn’t circumcised.
Friend: What’d it taste like?
–12th St & 5th Ave
Guy: I thought you couldn’t write diplomats tickets.
Cop: You can write ’em, they just don’t have to pay ’em!
Cop: Yeah. Fuck them! –6th between B & C
Girl at make-up counter: Where was yous at during the tornado yesterday?
Girl at make-up counter: Guess you didn’t got one, then.
–Kaufmann’s, Walden Galleria
Overheard by: Rachel + Isaac
Mom to daughter, taking out ripped jeans: Rosemary, the people in Ireland will be thinking, “what is she doing wearing ripped jeans?”
Daughter: Mom, I'm sure that people in Ireland wear ripped jeans.
Mom: Yeah, poor people.
–Laundry Room, W 116th St
Guy #1: He’s always dressed in Gucci, Versace, and all that shit.
Guy #2: Nigga, if I was skinny I’d wear nice stuff too.
Guy #1: Yeah, I’m sure it’s your weight that’s keeping you from wearing Gucci. –Queensboro Plaza station Overheard by: Preebz
NYU girl #1: I am so fucking sick of the Jews for Jesus everywhere.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, I know, it’s really annoying.
NYU girl #1: It’s not annoying; it’s fucking insulting! What, do I look Jewish to them? I mean, seriously, I don’t, do I? You’d tell me if I looked Jewish, right?
–Washington Sq Park
Overheard by: Emily
Old woman to cop, looking down at man on sidewalk: Is he dead?
Cop: Yes, ma’am, I’m afraid he is.
Old woman: Good. Arrest him.
–Forest Hills, Queens
Overheard by: Wondering what this woman does at funerals
Middle-aged woman: So, is she, like, skinny pregnant?
Friend: Yes, she looks like a model.
Middle-aged woman: Good, there is just no excuse to gain weight during pregnancy.
Overheard by: except for having a baby inside of you?
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man? –Odessa, Ave. A