Young man #1: Do you want to play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: Do you play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: REALLY?????? You don’t play ping pong?????
–N. 11th St, Williamsburg
Thankfully There’s Only 2 From Each State
Man #1: They’re just a bunch of high-class lowlifes.
Man #2: Yeah, and I’m one of them!
–D’Agastino’s, 26th St.
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Actually She Gave Me Some Good Chick Advice
Literary Agent: I’m full of shit. I can’t help it! –36th Street
Out of Wedlock Fun
His Baby’s Momma: He don’t pay child support. He don’t ever see her. That’s it! I’m calling his fucking parole officer! –West Village
Piss Off
Man Urinating Publicly: What do I care? I’m a convict! –Waverly Place Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Those Satanic Greeks
A group of punks walk by the Hellenic Steaks restaurant. Punk: This restaurant is perfect for me: I love steak, and I love Satan! –Astoria
What About Science?
Waitress: Is that book you’re reading fiction or theory? –Cosi
I’m Like a Chocoholic, Except with Vodka
Employee: I bring my beer in the shower with me and I put it on the ledge so it doesn’t get wet. Sometimes I also have a couple of shots in the kitchen. –Office, Midtown Overheard by: Jenny Rogers
That’s Lunacy
Young Son: Is there a Mars eclipse, too?
Father: There’s no Mars eclipse, there’s Marzipan, but no Mars eclipse.
–Watching the eclipse, West Village
Chinese Restaurant Fun
Waitress: Is this your granddaughter?
Grandma: Yes.
Waitress: She looks just like you.
Grandma: No, she looks like my son’s mother-in-law.
Waitress: Mother-in-law?
Grandma: She’s a big woman.
–Chinese Restaurant, UWS