NYU student: “I read the Sunday paper on Sunday–the whole thing–and it really wasn’t that bad! You should try it” Walking in Union Square
Guy: We’re all stuck in a loop of bullshit. –Odessa, Ave. A
Guy #1: He’s not down with it.
Guy #2: What do you mean, he’s not down with it?
Guy #1: Don’t worry, he’s going to be down with it.
Guy #2: How’s he going to be down with it?
Guy #1: We’ll make him down with it. –Ave. A
Human Leech: Oh, what you have to do is calculate your monthly income–and make sure you include in that the amount of money that your parents give you every month. –Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg
Super: Toilet’s fixed. Sorry I was so gruff before, but my hands were full of shit. –Ave A
Businessman (to hobo): Well, you’ve got to admit, there’s a lot of Jewish women and men in the city who will try to screw you over. –Central Park
Mother (to son): Well, I thought you had beautiful legs, Greg. –Lower East Side
Man: Hey, Chris! Wow! You look great! You have lost so much weight!
Chris: Thanks. Not a diet though, I’m a crystal meth addict. –Chelsea
Businessman: I’m thinking that a $10 parking ticket is just a $10 parking permit for the day. –Midtown office
Chick #1: That Dew’s totally going to land on someone’s shoe.
Chick #2: I know. I already stepped on like six feet. –Mountain Dew promotional party (don’t ask), Greenpoint