I Always Preferred Bin Laden Barbie

Older lady #1: He's a very nice guy. He looks like a terrorist, but he's so sweet.
Older lady #2, laughing: Really? Well, that's good.
Older lady #1: Yeah. He's so smart! Really bright, and really good at making you feel comfortable. I was so glad to have him helping us. But he definitely–if you look at him–he's like teddy Taliban.

–Waiting Room, NYU Hospital

Overheard by: Hector Hamas?

“…Munchkins with lollipops? Yeah, right!”

Chick: I don’t never know where you at.
Guy: Aw, baby, I always tell you where I at.
Chick: Oh no, you don’t. In fact, I still don’t know where you at yesterday.
Guy: Well…I don’t always know where you at neither.
Chick: Oh yes, you do. I always tell you where I at.
Guy: Nuh uh. I don’t never know where you at till you get home from there. –WTC PATH station Overheard by: Meredith

Ever Get the Sense That Every Day Is Like an Episode Of Springer?

Tall, gorgeous girl to much shorter, uglier boyfriend: Why do you need to know were I was last night? I thought you said our relationship was all about trust!
Boyfriend: I'm your boyfriend! I have a right to know where you were and who you were with!
(as they stop walking and argue loudly, a small crowd begins to gather)
Tall girl
: Do you thing I was cheating? Why would you think that? You're the one that said you're the only one that will ever love me!

(crowd boos boyfriend)
: I am the only man that will ever love you!

Random guy in crowd: I love you!
Boyfriend: You love me?
Random guy: No you douchebag, your girlfriend!

–Broadway & Wall St.

Wednesday One-Liners for Melanie Chisholm.

Yankee fan to Latin man in Mets jersey and white woman in Yankees t-shirt and hat: Ya'll are really mixed, huh?

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: in a mixed couple myself

Student to another: Everybody says they don't have the money but they're the biggest team west of… uh… the East Coast.

–Fordham Road Station

Unfazed Yankees fan, after listening to Red Sox fan trash-talking the Yankees: Yeah, why don't you just go jump in front of this train?

–Crowded Subway to Yankee Stadium

Conductor, after second 20-minute delay: I'm sorry for your delay. If you need to explain why you're late, all I can do is tell you you were on the 8:55 from Flatbush and to check your carriage number. I repeat, we are not moving because there is a sick passenger at Grand Army Plaza that requires medical attention. (pause) In good news: how 'bout dem Jets?

–2 Train