Like Chaka Khan

Cashier woman: Put that down! Will you put that down?!
Cafeteria aid, holding an issue of The Source: Why should I? This ain’t yours! You’re, like, fifty!
Cashier woman: Shit, you don’t know me. I might be a hip-hop granny.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: steve d.

He Got the Shaft?

Woman to man in Halloween costume: Are you one of the Chilean miners?
Man: Yes I am.
Woman: Are you the 34th miner?
Man: The one nobody talks about?
Woman: No, the one they ate.

–1 Train

Overheard by: CE

Did You, Like, Miss a Meeting?

Man in nearly empty train: There’s an unclaimed bag back there on a seat.
Conductor: Huh?
Man: There’s a bag back there that no one is claiming, and I thought you should know.
Conductor: No… I think it must belong to somebody.

–Harlem line, Metro-North

Overheard by: getting off the next stop