Wednesday One-liners for the Linguists

Chick: I don’t know what is wrong with her, she was acting so
agnoxious. –Office, Madison & 38th Hipster guy: Whenever they build a new road, it should be the blankth street ever made. 34th Street should be the 34th street ever built. –C train Overheard by: A. Magnus Fat girl: When I used to play Scrabble just for the words, I sucked. –Astoria Overheard by: Gregorio Chick: Oh my god, you’re so stupid. Canal Street isn’t in Chinatown; it’s in English, how could it be Chinatown? –N train Overheard by: Steph Lo Drunk girl: I didn’t have an ego until I started doing acid. My friend and I, we would just sit around and do acid and talk about how cool we were. We had this thing called “P.A.S.” that stood for “Phat As Shit.” We’d be like, “We…are P.A.S.” –Uncle Ming’s, Avenue B Homie: Yo, you see that shit on Family Guy? That nigga Quagmire be funny, son! That “giggity giggity” shit! Yo son, that nigga tied up a cheerleader and shit and always be trying to nail the little bitch. –N train

Every Wednesday One-Liner Has Its Price

Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets.

–10 Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: Jarrod

Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That's basically your only two options.

–Grand St, Chinatown

Overheard by: Mike Posillico

Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That's why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I'm not sellin' my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song.

–Bx15 Bus

Overheard by: Karly

Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn't listen to me will be sold!

–34th & 3rd

Overheard by: Dahouhou

Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there.

–14th St, across Doomed Megastore

Overheard by: Not buyin what they're sellin

Wednesday One-Liners: Straight, Not Narrow

White woman to friend: Wow, this is a great place to meet straight people!

–Madison Square Garden

Dude to female passenger: If I was straight, I'd be hitting that, but I'm not straight, so I won't be hitting that.

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Maggie

Yelling blonde: What's my type? He should be straight, that's my type.

–68th & Columbus

Amateur philosopher: If I wasn't straight, I'd totally be gay.

–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Headaches

Teen girl to friend: They're not gay! They're just old!

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Peter

A Gentleman Dies at Home, Edward

Ordinary-looking guy #1: You ever died in someone else's house?
Ordinary-looking guy #2: I never died in anyone's house. I'm still alive.

–A Train