Bus-driver in Vancouver: “The BC government recently did a study about fraud on the bus system, and the company they hired concluded that 3% of the riders take advantage of the system. But driving this bus every day, I see that it is really 30-40%. The newspapers say that Canadians are so good but it’s not true!”
Young man in Vancouver: “It’s so hard to meet anyone here who is Jewish!”
Ranch One Flyer Guy: Ranch One. [pushes flyer]
Lady: Ugh, get away from me.
Ranch One Flyer Guy: Screw you!
Old Woman: Oh, I just feel so gassy. I’ve got so much gas. –Public Library, Bensonhurst
On Hastings Avenue in Vancouver, there is a restaurant called the “New York Bistro Grill.” The first and most prominent item on their menu reads: “New York Burger – baby shrimps, cream cheese, and guacamole”
Man walking down the street in downtown Vancouver to the woman next to him: “I’m Jewish, but my family has been in Canada for three generations” Woman: “Oh. I have one Jewish friend.”
In a hamburger joint in Vancouver: “Can I have a regular hamburger, rare, please?” Waitress: “You’re obviously not from BC. In the whole province, it is illegal to cook a hamburger in any way other than well-done.”
Deli guy (to another deli guy): He’s got a shrimp salad sandwich too. Here, I’ll mark the paper for you so you don’t get confused. I know your brain, it don’t work so good. Do you want me to write it in Mexican or in English?
Four teenagers in a convertible at a stop-sign speaking about me as I cross the street right in front of them, in Vancouver: “Hey, he looks Jewish!”
Man on cell: I’ve got an idea. How about you go fuck yourself?…Say what? You don’t think so?