New York Boasts a Vibrant Elmosexual Community

Construction worker #1: Hey yo, know where I'm going tomorrow?
Construction worker #2: Nope!
Construction worker #1, with pride: Sesame Street, live!
Construction worker #2: Yo, where at?

–46th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Juan Chung

Moist Wipes For All Escaping Religous Persecution

Little girl: Mommy, I’m hot. Can we swim in there?
Mom: No, sweetie. Everyone in New York poops in that river. –Ferry to Ellis Island
Headline by: agela abdullah
· “And Your Turn to Poop in it Isn’t Until February” – Ryan
· “Great, I Need to Top up my Tan!” – SpaceBee
· “I Hear the McDonald’s Pool in the Back is Nice This Time of Year” – Lifeguard Larry
· “Like the Backseat of Your Volvo, Mommy?” – Jeff
· “M. Night Shamalan’s Next Script Idea” – Bevan
· “That’s the New Definition of ‘Hipster.'” – Matthew K Johnson
· “The Statue of Liberty Isn’t Holding a Torch; She’s Lighting a Match.” – erak
· “Well, the Rich People Can Afford to Poop in Long Island Sound” – M.D.
· “Well, Yes. That’s Why I Asked.” – Greg

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

By Shooting Him

Guy to girlfriend: You didn't even invite me in! You didn't treat me as good as you'd treat any other customer! (later) No, the next time some dude tries to give you his number, you take it, you understand? That way, I can hunt him down and tell him you aren't interested, and he's inappropriate!

–1 Uptown/Times Square

Overheard by: ggirl