Idiot: Happiness is a sandwich. –Quizno’s, 14th Street
Conductor #1: Folks, if you’re looking for a seat, walk all the way to the back of the train. The last car is not even half full. Conductor #2: Or half empty. –Metro North train
Waiter: I’ve got chocolate all over my pants! –Cold Springs
Policeman: “…of course I would accept the money! Do I look like I’m rich?” - Bedford L subway station
Loser: You know something? I like to stick ice together. –Quizno’s, St. Mark’s Place
Young Upper East Sider woman: “And I told her, I want to be a princess!” In front of Normandie Court
Man #1: Are you calling me fat?
Man #2: No.
Man #1: Yo, Joseph. I want a chicken pot pie, too. –KFC, Delancey St.
Yuppie: There is in fact a fundamental difference between Ray’s and Webster’s. One is a series of restaurants that sell pizza; another is a book that you can look up the definitions of words in. –Party, The West Village
Black guy: Tell that nigger my party is tonight in Nochez.
Hispanic guy on cell: Yo, this nigger’s party is tonight in Nochez.
Black woman: Why is the word ‘nigger’ being said so much here? –KFC, Delancey Street
Hispter eating in Bonita in Williamsburg: “…and they have their own vocabulary, using phrases like, ‘hanging out.’”