Archive for January, 2008

There Would Be No Further Booty Calls for Ian

American woman: I heard this song the other day — the lyrics were great.
British man: Hm?
American woman: It was almost as good as that one song — you know, that one that goes, ‘Ain’t no call like a booty call, ’cause a booty call just don’t stop.’
British man: Uh-huh.
American woman: The lyrics are all, ‘Looove is my religion. I’ll take you to the temple tonight.’
British man: Wow… Let’s just try to make some more really shitty metaphors, why don’t we? –Choga, Bleecker St Overheard by: Alice

I Don’t Forgive Mel, and I Don’t Forgive You

College stoner: Wouldn’t it be awesome if, instead of being Oedipus’s mother, Jocasta was Wal-Mart or some other embodiment of the commercial-industrial complex? And, instead of blinding himself with his mother-wife’s brooches, Oedipus stabs himself in the eyes with his name tag pin? Like, I wonder what that all would mean, dude. You ever think about that?
Studious black friend: Wow. Pretentious much? Or are you just hashed right now?
College stoner: Hashed, man. Totally. What were we talking about, again? Oh, yeah! –The Strand, Union Square Overheard by: neongensis

You’re Not Worth It. We Spit in Toronto’s Coffee Now

Barista guy to girl wearing Red Sox hat: What do we have here? A Red Sox fan? What are you doing in this city? You don’t belong here. Hey, what’s your name? Hey! Are you ignoring me?
Red Sox girl: I’m sorry, did you say something?
Barista guy: Yeah, I was talking about your hat — it sucks.
Red Sox girl: Yeah, whatever. You didn’t spit in my latte or anything, did you? –Starbucks Overheard by: Snooper

If by “Discount Shopping” You Mean “Anonymous Barebacking”

Young girl with Texan accent #1: What’s Soho?
Young girl with Texan accent #2: Oh, that’s like where they have all the discount shopping places. –R train Headline by: dan Runners-Up:
· “Bush Twins…….Activate!” – stephie
· “In Texas, We Call It Mexico…” – Michael Haigh
· “There’s a Wal-Mart in SoHo?” – Chuckles
· “They Were Disappointed with DUMBO, Too.” – nick
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners, by Calvin Klein

Girl yelling to friend across street: Hey, guess what? I smelled it! I smelled it from here! –Fordham University Blonde on cell: So, I just took my hair down, and all I smelled was Dove and crack. –JFK Overheard by: spanky Man to no one: It smells like my ex-wife in here! –Highline Ballroom Hootchie on cell: No joke — it smelled ripe down there. I be all, ‘Jimmy… D-A-M-N! I’m too busy gagging from the smell to gag on your bits.’ –W Broadway Girl crying on cell to boyfriend: How could you fuck her?! Her pussy stinks! –Union Square Overheard by: SplendidConfusion Thug on cell: Yo, I’m sure she smells better now, bro! –Harlem Meer, Central Park Overheard by: mj