Archive for February, 2008

Wednesday One-Liners Go to the Liberry

Teen boy: Yeah, I read the audio book.

–Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: Sarah

Chick: My life has really changed since moving to New York. Like, in L.A. I use to read Us Weekly, and now I read The New Yorker.

–Lower East Side

Overheard by: Aileen

UWS mom to hippie college son: Darling, I’ve decided we must get this book because it feels really quite wonderful. [Customers gawk.] I know it sounds weird, but the way a book feels means a lot, and this one feels good. Oh, and I like the cover.

–The Strand

Overheard by: losaida lois

Literary agent: God, I’m so sick of domestic violence memoirs. I just want to go beat the crap out of them.

–W 35th St

Lit professor: Reading Ulysses for the first time, like other life experiences we have for the first time, is not quite as pleasurable as we might have hoped it would be. However, unlike other life experiences we have for the first time, reading Ulysses lasts much, much longer.

–Eugene Lang College

Overheard by: amelia

Actually, Meg Ryan’s Just Had Too Much Eye Work Done

Woman: Whoopsie!
Male friend #1, drunk: Whoooopsie!
Male friend #2: So, this train goes to Atlantic Avenue, right?
Woman: Right.
Male friend #2, pulling out mini map: So, we’re here… and Atlantic Avenue is…
Woman, lowering voice: You’re standing too close to that girl.
Male friend #1, drunk: What? No I’m not.
Woman: Yes, you are. You’re right in her face.
Drunk man: Oh, she doesn’t care. She’s Korean.

–Q train

Overheard by: the 6′ tall white girl he was standing WAY too close to