Homeless guy: Yo, yo. Can I get a donation to my broke-ass foundation?
Hipster guy: Sorry, dude.
Homeless guy: Aww, come on brother. Just pretend that you love me.
–5th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: some girl
Archive for March, 2008
Excuse Me, That’s “Stuh-ray-et”
Tourist #1: This is us.
Tourist #2: You sure?
Tourist #1: Yup, Cay-null Street.
–N train, Canal St station
Overheard by: sara n.
She Understands Accessories
Man in paper hat, leather jacket covered in soda can tabs, and poofy skirt over jeans: She comes in and she comes home and breaks my heart, and the worst part is that I don’t understand her language. I’m better off with… [Steps back to peer at magazine a girl is reading] I’m better off with that one. What’s her name? Turn the page back one. Yeah, her. Tyra? Tyra. I’m better off with Tyra.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Let’s Try Feeding Her and See What Happens
Girlfriend: So, do you think Fiona is really crazy?
Boyfriend: No, I just think she is hungry.
–Fiona Apple concert, Central Park
Overheard by: Nicole B.
Unwanted Foreigners
Cashier: Here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.
Customer: Thanks. Do you know how hard it is to get a taxi around here?
Cashier: Well, you are in Midtown Manhattan, so it’s pretty easy.
Customer: Thanks.
Cashier: Where are you from?
Customer: Staten Island.
Cashier, under breath: Figures…
–J. Crew, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Al
Consider Yourself Provisionally Forgiven
Chick #1: I didn’t call you fat.
Chick #2: Yes, you did! I remember it vividly! But it’s okay, ’cause I just forgot.
–34th & Broadway
Overheard by: may
No Wonder Mom Slaps You
Father: Do you want some juice now? Want juice?
Two-year-old boy: Be patient.
–G train
… But You’re Still a Bitch
Man: Bitch, why you gotta make things so complicated?
Woman: I’m always complicated. You oughta be used to it by now.
Man: Yeah, that’s true.
–14th St crosswalk
Overheard by: Leslie
He Was Wearing a Ten-Gallon Hat
Old lady #1: His head was between my legs.
Old lady #2: Was he big?
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Priscilla Perez
Now Turn Around Again
Girl: God, there’s nowhere in the Lower East Side to order wine!
Guy passerby: Turn around.
Girl: No, I mean, like, in a bar.
–Outside ‘inoteca Wine Bar, 98 Rivington