Teacher #1: I heard on the radio that the Chinese people are the ones that make the pasta. You know, the noodles.
Teacher #2: I did the research and it is pretty cheap to go to Italy. I wanna go.
–Elevator, 55 Broad St
Overheard by: Rob M
Archive for March, 2008
The G-Spot Is Inside You
Girl #1: I swear! This place exists!
Girl #2: If this place exists, then how come I can’t see it?
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Bones
Even Straight Guys Feel This Way
Guy #1: He came up and said, ‘Hey, big boy, wanna ring my bell?’
Guy #2: And…?
Guy #1: And of course I said I didn’t! But… it was nice being asked.
–The Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Impatiently Waiting in Line for her Peanut Butter
Then You’ll Be a Very Special Kind of Bitch
Mom, to little girl: Don’t you ever say ‘bitch’ again, or I will knock all of your teeth out!
–6 train
He Wasn’t, Incidentally
Hot girl #1: It’s the guy on the end of the train.
Hot girl #2: Wow. It’s amazing the human body can smell like that and still be alive.
–Coney Island-bound F train
Cerebral Cortex? No….
Sorority girl tourist #1, about photo of guy on camera phone: Look at this gluteus maximus.
Sorority girl tourist #2: Oooh, nice gluteus maximus. Hey, what’s with all the weird body part names, anyway? Gluteus maximus…
Sorority girl tourist #1: Vulva…
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Dolores!
“Imagine there’s no neurons/ It’s easy if you try”
Female attorney: Bush said that America will rebuild Lennon. Why should we? We didn’t bomb them. We have enough problems of our own to worry about. Bush is nuts!
Male attorney: Lennon’s been dead for over 25 years.
–Outside Civil Court, Queens
Overheard by: Big Larry
When the Pretenders Ride the Train
Guy: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention for a second, please? [All the strap hangers look at him.] Thank you for your attention. [Gets off the train.]
–6 train
Overheard by: Luke
Their Ad Expenditures Exceed Their Revenue
Hobo with jar around his neck reading “TIPS” is approached by another hobo wearing a sign reading “CLASSIC BUM.” An American Apparel employee comes out and takes a Polariod.
“TIPS” hobo: This is a Bum War, lady. But you like what you see? Spare some change?
–Houston & Orchard
How Copy Editors Blow Off Steam
Metrosexual guy: If I was some fish…
Girl, not looking up from her bus schedule: Grammar just cried.
Metrosexual guy: I don’t follow you.
Girl: Good, because if you did, I would have to have you arrested.
Metrosexual guy: I am so confused.
Girl: Do the words ‘you are an idiot’ confuse you?
Metrosexual guy: I hate you.
–28th & 5th