Tourist: New York City is the only place in the country that does not have right on red. It doesn't make sense.
Impatient New Yorker chick: Because you'd never get off the sidewalk.
Tourist (in a condescending way): Lady, right on red is for cars. Not for people. (rolls eyes)
–42nd & Broadway
Archive for July, 2008
With Guatemalans Tied to the Back
Hipster #1: Did you ever see The Brown Bunny?
Hipster #2: No, what's it about?
Hipster #1: This guy, he's a motorcycle racist…
Hipster #2: A motorcycle racist?
Hipster #1: Yeah, he races motorcycles.
–Atlantic Terminal Target
Except His Is Functional, Not Recreational
Young woman to young boy: Aw, look at the cute puppy.
Young boy: Aawww.
Young woman: See… he has a leash on just like you.
–45th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Nicole
Is Our Tourists Learning?
Blonde tourist (after swiping futilely a few times): How do I swipe this?
New Yorker (looks at card in tourist's hand): That's not a Metrocard, that's your room key.
–E Train
Overheard by: Laura
'Cause I'm Gangstrous!
White college dude with glasses: Guys, you absolutely must check out this new reality television show. It is off the hiz-ook. Literally, off the hiz-ook.
College chick: Why do we hang out with you?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Isn't Learning About Other Cultures Fun?
(little Asian girl giggles and makes snorting noise)
Park Slope mom to daughter: She's making a pig noise, Charlotte! Can you show her your pig noise?
(little Asian girl snorts again)
Park Slope mom: I think she's going to hock something up.
–F Train
Overheard by: Russ Wall
We've Spent Weeks Working on That Grotto Effect
Suit: We have water leaking from the 24th floor down to the phone boxes.
Friend: That's good. That's what we want.
–47th & 3rd
Overheard by: EthanK
Pop Quiz: How Many Mentally Unbalanced People Are in This Quote?
Girl in Mets jersey: My sister put me on anti-anxiety pills and now I'm gonna kill her!
Guy in Mets jersey: Rad! Go Mets!
–59th St & Roosevelt Ave
Overheard by: Stephen's Wife
And on the Third Day, George Carlin Rose
Crazy guy in camouflage: And I was like: “Fucking…what the fuck, man! Fuck it!”
Teen passerby (very seriously): I love that man.
Preppy friend: Oh my god, me too! (gives thumbs up)
–48th & 6th
Headline by: Golf Widow
Runners-Up:
· “Everyone Loves a Good Fuck” – melly
· “How Billy and Tommy Knew What Love Really Means” – Stellina
· “I Hear He’s Speaking at Graduation!” – fucking fan
· “Schizophrenia Is the New Black.” – Josh
· “Tourette’s Groupies” – TheSchilsk
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
That's, Like, All We Did in Bio Lab Last Year
Girl #1: Did you know babies have natural reflexes? Like, if you stick your finger in their hand, they'll grab it, and if you try to pull it away, they'll hold on to it for like a minute.
Girl #2: Did you know if you punch a baby in the face, it'll cry?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: mkb