Girl: She wants me to make a distribution e-mail for four people!
Gay: You better do it.
Girl: Or what? They'll take away my blow-up Statue of Liberty desk statue?
–6 Train
Archive for August, 2008
Robot: Danger, Will Robinson!
Man: I love you…you know.
Woman: Well then, you'll buy me something expensive.
–Outside Paul Smith Shop
Overheard by: Liam Shove
Your Real Parents Are Never Coming for You, Kid
(family stands facing the empire state building)
Tourist son: Mom, which one is the Empire State Building?
Tourist mom: I think it's the one with the circley top. (points to the Chrysler Building)
Tourist dad: No, honey, it's the one way out there, on the water.
Tourist son #2: That's the Statue of Liberty. (to no one in paritcular) I can't believe I'm part of this fucking family.
–Top of the Rock
Overheard by: Melissa
Just Keep Walking 'til Your Feet Get Wet
Woman: How do we know where it is?
Man: That guy said it's at the end of the street.
Woman: Yeah, well, where does the street end?
–Outside of St James Theatre
Overheard by: howdumbareyou
No Tip for You, My Good Man
Man at McDonald's drive-Thru: I'll have a #1 with a Diet Coke please.
Employee: Anything else?
Man: Nope, that's it. And this is all to go.
Employee: Ya think?
–McDonald's, Bayside
What Mr. Clean Commercials Are Like in Europe
Girl to boy squeezing her boobs: Oh, you are cruising for a bruising.
Boy: Haha, like the one I gave you on the kitchen table this morning?
Girl: (laughs)
Boy (suddenly serious): Man, I hope nobody ate off of that.
–Pier 11
Overheard by: mentally reviewing everyplace I ate
Accept Its Insanity or Face Its Wrath
Young boy: Daddy! We're going outside soon, yay!
Father: No we're not. We're going over the g line, we'll have to go to Hoyt Street underground, then switch to the f. Then we'll go outside.
Young boy: Why, daddy?
Father: Because it's the MTA.
–F Train
Overheard by: marc V
Then What's the War on Polyester?
Tattooed man holding copy of Peaceful Warrior: What about this? I think I'd like this.
Girlfriend: Why?
Tattooed man: It's about a big war or something.
Girlfriend (reading back of DVD): No, no. It's about a warrior.
Tattooed man: Yeah, so there has to be a war if there's a warrior.
Girlfriend: I don't think it's about a real war, it says something here about gymnastics.
Tattooed man: Gymnastics? That's like a faggot war or something.
–Hollywood Video, Staten Island
The Day New York Stood Still
Atlantic Avenue announcement: The 2, 3, 4, 5, b and q trains are not running into Manhattan. As an alternative, take the n, d, or r trains.
Pacific Street announcement: The n, d and r trains are not running into Manhattan. As an alternative, take the 2, 3, 4, 5, b or q trains.
–Atlantic/Pacific Subway Station
Overheard by: Jen Diff
I Know I'll Never Need Anything Else As Long As I Live
Little girl: Please?
Father: I'm not paying attention to you.
Little girl: Pleeeeeeease? Do you want me to cry? I'll cry. Do you want me to cry, daddy? (holds up stuffed owl) Just get this for me and I'll be happy, please?
–Gift Shop, Museum of Natural History