Archive for September, 2008

We Imagine a Young Katherine Hepburn in This Role

Hot chick: You are never gonna get a job talking like that.
Thug: Yeah, you know, I can turn dis shit off and talk all professional and shit if I have to. (in professional voice): I can speak in a manner which is becoming to a young professional and present myself as an upstanding member of society (now back to thug speak) nawmsayin'?
Hot chick (sarcastically, enunciating each word): Yes. I know what you are saying.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Joey Cards

Is It Even Legal to Turn Down Catherine Zeta Jones?

Large, out-of-breath woman climbing stairs #1: (gasp) All I know is (gasp) that I would fuck the shit out of her.
Large, out-of-breath woman climbing stairs #2: (silence)
Large, out-of-breath woman climbing stairs #1: Are you honestly saying (gasp) you wouldn't fuck the shit out of her?
Large, out-of-breath woman climbing stairs #2: If she was a man…
Large, out-of-breath woman climbing stairs #1: Fuck that shit! (gasp) I'm not hearing that.

–Subway Stop, 168th & Broadway

Overheard by: I Would 2