Woman #1: She keeps acting all funny now, and I'm up to the point where I'll have to beat her ass.
Woman #2: You crazy.
Woman #1: I'm beating her ass right in church, you watch me!
Woman #2 (laughing): You crazy!
Woman #1: I'll say “Lord, forgive me,” before I beat her ass down right in front of the altar!
–PATH Train
Overheard by: Manhattman
Archive for October, 2008
Can We Get a Picture with You, Rude New Yorker?
(a couple of guys want to get a picture of a taxi crashed into a lamppost)
Guy #1 (handing camera to passerby): Can you take our picture?
Guy #2: In front of the taxi. (pause) We're tourists.
New Yorker: Yeah, I know.
–Near Cake Shop
Overheard by: Shutterbug
You Can, Too– We Really Don't Mind
Young black teen: Is that a North Face jacket you're wearing?
White guy: Yes, it is.
Other young black teen: Do you use it to go skiing?
White guy: Uh, yes.
Young black teen to friend: See! I told you white people use North Face jackets to go skiing!
–F Train
But After Dinosaur Time
Mom to kid: You said you wanted a history book, what were you thinking?
Kid to mom: Like, “History.” Back in horse time.
–Bookstore, Greenpoint
Overheard by: eefers
The Governor's Accent Tends to Throw People Off
Guy #1, wearing American Apparel sweater: Brr.
Guy #2: Man, I freaking hate American Apparel!
Guy #1: Yeah, this sweater's thin as hell!
Guy #2: No, I mean like they're all “American” Apparel” so they can sell to Americans, pretending to be made by Americans. Meanwhile, their clothes are being made in California!
–Elevator, St. George Hotel, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Crazy Person
Juan Valdez! I Love Him!
Girl #1: Oh my god, I can't believe we saw him! And he just re-signed with the Yankees!
Girl #2: Oh my god, I love José Canseco!
Girl #1: You mean Jorge Posada, right?
Girl #2: Yeah, sure, whoever you said!
–50th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jason
So We Know It's Fierce
Boyfriend: I guess we can get some stuff at Gristedes, the ghetto grocery.
Girlfriend: Gristedes isn't ghetto! It was on Project Runway!
–Gristedes
Overheard by: Fox
Which Is So Long It Stretches Around the Black
(waiting in line at the DMV)
Black supervisor with thick Jamaican accent to preppy white mom accompanying her daughter: You sit down. (mumbles something else)
White mom: Did he say “only Africans wait in line”?
White daughter: No, mom, “only *applicants* wait in line.”
–Harlem DMV
Yoko Ono Might Argue That This Was NOT Here
Tourist woman: Look! Look up, there it is!
Tourist man: Really, that's it? I don't think that's it.
Tourist woman (pointing at “Empire State Building” label): No, look. It says right there.
Tourist man: Oh, I guess you're right… this must be it.
–Empire State Building, 34th & 5th
A Tradition I Continue to Honor
Girl: Did you know that my ancestors invented the thing that links subway cars together?
Guy: Did you know that my ancestors got drunk in the subway cars?
–MTA Transit Museum