Archive for 2008

Do Not Insert Any Part of the Chair into Any Part of You

Professor #1, reading from card: There is a chair available for your monologues. Do not stand on the chair. Do not throw the chair.
Applicants and parents: [Laugh.]
Professor #1: Do not disrobe.
Applicants and parents: [Laugh harder.]
Professor #2: You laugh, but they’re on that card for a reason.

–NYU

Overheard by: ZB

I Hear If You Don’t Have Sex for Two Years, You Become a Virgin Again, Too

Girl #1: Why does she seem so nasty and stressed all the time?
Girl #2: Well, I think it’s because she’s a lesbian by default.
Girl #1: A what?
Girl #2: A lesbian by default. She’s such a bitch that guys don’t want anything to do with her.

–Manhattan Lounge

Overheard by: fpod